In an apartment-home where there is/are crumbs on the floor, dust balls behind sofas, spiders in residence in odd spaces, books strewn everywhere, food in constant motion across the kitchen and dining space, nude barbies having a bath in the bathroom, composting waste matter that is picked at by little hands in the balcony-garden, Lego bits that seem to have a life of their own, large projects that seem to materialize in moments, pee in the portable potty being stared at, children jumping on just-made-beds, water play being planned almost all day long, bicycle mud-tracks across just-cleaned-floors, whooping war cries at unexpected moments, etc., one can be forgiven for searching for a quiet corner to call one's own, an adult space where the rules don't keep changing and where pens and paper, canvas and brush, thoughts and beauty remain as one would have them be. Yeah... this is our home these days... and that quiet corner has yet to be found :-O
I visited a dear friend's home tonight for a short visit. When i came back home from her well appointed, yet simply furnished, spacious, minty-clean, beautifully arranged home that also included a calm, serene and yet energized artist's work room and a great space for her 9 year old... I had a "claustrophobic, crabby, eat-your-rice-neatly-dammit, yikes-the-children-will-never-grow-up" mood engulf me. It took me a longish while to get over this mood and re-focus on my kids' needs and also focus on what I needed for myself from my home.
I feel that a few days alone to ponder the energy in my home would be lovely. Alone without kids and R around. Space to walk about and settle some of the chaos. Perhaps create a couple of nooks for projects of my own to take off. A stitching corner where my ideas for quilting and making dolls-clothing take off. A corner for painting with my watercolors from a selection of my village-doorway photos. A corner for Ravi to contemplate ideas and bills or to simply call his own. The adults in this house deserve some space separate too.
This way... when we do feel the overwhelming urge to strap the children into chairs or are unable to find joy in water being sprayed out of the bathroom and onto the bed.... we can simply retire to our nooks/corners and allow it all to fade away. We might then quickly feel recharged and rejuvenated and again turn into fun-loving-adults.
The children can be requested to respect the corners/nooks and leave those areas out of their play/work. I think our children might easily agree to this. After all they know that we respect their needs and provide undisturbed play/work spaces for them so they probably will willingly allow us ours. Or at least we can recognize our needs, express them clearly and hope for their innate goodness to bless it.
Ah... now that all this is worked out i can go to sleep and dream of tomorrow, a Sunday... when some of these nooks might be born.