When we started out with our unschooling journey, we felt a little like knights in shining armor freeing ourselves from our own self-imposed shackles. Hence the name of the blog.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Funny how everything seems to fall into place once the LOA (Law of Attraction) ball got rolling for me/us as a family. My stress levels have fallen away. I wonder if that means i'm ignoring problems... but nah... mostly i look at problems in a new light. And i find i'm more open to playfullness, going with the flow even if it means smiling at overflowing water as kids play etc.

Today was a day of stops. I tended to loose my temper and get short with the kids. I could not find my groove or my center as i was caught up in a couple of extra house-chores, some house-maintenance, lack of water in the building (being worked out by the building crew), and perhaps a growing unease about some stuff that i need to work on while the kids are not around.

Now this last one was the main botheration because i know Ravi's week is rough and i may not get that time i need. Anyway my solution was to read Calvin and Hobbes to the kids as they settled in for a afternoon nap... Z definitely sleepy and Raghu lying down only for a read. Then i explained to Raghu that if he wanted the playdate (2 kids from our building are coming over for a playdate this evening) then he needed to nap as he had been up in the morning at 7am. I pointed out how hard it was for him to stay cheerful and not get grumpy when he was functioning on less sleep. So he agreed to nap provided i finished a few more pages of hte C&H. So we laughed and interpreted a few more C&H escapades and R feel asleep. So here I am having a blissful hour to tap away and get my center back.

And as i focus on myself... i can isolate the problem areas and sit with them and give them directions. ok "food issues for hte evening... here you go... this is what shall happen... chunky soup for Z, bhendi for R and methi-daal-rice- for dh and me." then "mess issues... make a list and put it up for us to consider some boxing up this w'end" and "art-class reassessment... shall tell ravi to take care of kids in the morning tomororw while i plug away from 6am till 8am on the course work i need to create" Lovely! Now i feel like loose ends have been tied that as an art teacher adn home manager have to be addressed and i cna go back to being loose and carefree and follow my kids around the rest of the evening.

Then i read this in my inbox from Scott Noelle.. and it zinged for me :-)

:: Red Light, Green Light ::

Virtually all of us "lose it" with our kids at some
point. Then later we say, "I didn't want to yell at my
child, but I couldn't stop myself."

If you want to avoid these parent-child "collisions,"
you have to pay more attention to your "inner
stoplight": stress.

Suppose you're worried about getting your child to an
appointment on time. Worrying is stressful, so it's a
red light telling you to stop and get centered before
moving on. But long ago you were trained to tolerate
stress, so you don't notice the red light. You're on a
collision course!

Which parent is more likely to end up yelling, the one
who's centered or the one who's stressed?

Today, pay close attention to your subtle feelings.
Decide that even "mild" tension or irritation is a red
light. Stop, breathe, reach for better-feeling
thoughts, and wait for the green-light feeling of
*relief* before you take action.

4 comments:

Sissie said...

I spent the afternoon reading your blog.
Thanks for writing, it is beautiful.

Uma said...

Hema......this is exactly what I needed today !! Was browsing stuff on Law of Attraction and thats how I was online and just wanted to chk your blog & I saw this ....maybe thats what the Law is all about....u get what to need to get!!Cheers!!

Hema A Bharadwaj said...

Thanks Sissie... i loved your blog!
And Uma..... hope you chk back here... i could not figure out who you are... your identity is hidden on google. So are you from NJ?

Uma said...

Hema.....this is Uma Pendyala! Bangalore:)