The Bharadwaj Knights

2012-01-02T11:51:00.002+05:30

Dear Readers: I will be writing here:~~http://thebharadwajshine.blogspot.com/view/classic~~ http://thebharadwajshine.blogspot.com/ from now on.

Hema A Bharadwaj's photostream

2011-04-14T14:18:00.001+05:30

Hema A Bharadwaj's photostream on Flickr.

This is a test with my new pro-account in Flikr

Attraversiamo and ciao for now

2011-03-19T22:08:00.000+05:30

I may not post here for a while. I shall try and post photos from time to time but perhaps the thoughts/experiences from our unschooling days will be on hold. I am devoting energy to our local Ning site: http://indiahomeschoolers.ning.com/.

I am grateful for the wonderful comments, presence of people in my life thru this blog. This blog is also a record of sorts for my self. But for many weeks now i have been inspired to do other things, a dispersion of energy. So i feel i must disclose my lack of intention for this blog at this time.

Recently in Rome someone who was helping me with navigating the streets and bus choices said "attraversiamo". His face lit up when i recognized the word. I only got it because i have read Elizabeth Gitbert's book a few times ... in which this word is given much space.... as it is absolutely entitled to. Its a beautiful word and it pleasantly shocked me when i heard this word from a true Roman's lips.... ah Italian... i love thee. This lovely word means, for those of you who have not had the pleasure, "let's cross over". So for now i cross over to other things and sides and realms.

Metta, Hema

2011-02-11T08:33:00.002+05:30

A series of photos from these past few weeks. We've been to goa with my sister and her adorable baby. We've done a road trip, played in new ways with Avni, discussed menus, had delicious wine, (raghu likes his watered down like he read about kids having wine in greece... My family and other animals by Gerald Durrell), visited a world heritage site church, played on beaches, built an elaborate sand castle that we decorated with beautiful sea-softened-stones, did water skiing, and generally hung about the house.

2011-01-17T11:23:00.000+05:30

A series of photos to reflect some of our activities off late.

2010-12-16T11:47:00.000+05:30

Raghu is excited to count down days to his birthday early next year. I say this so often... 'can't believe how time flies'. He will be 8 soon. Raghu's sense of humor is getting a workout these days. He has been making unusual word associations, telling us jokes he works on in private, and just giving us all a good laugh.

Zoya is cycling so confidently. I love the walk-a-bike.... one of several versions out there is here: http://www.bootscootbikes.com/ Mine came to me from my German friend, Britt... ever grateful to her for introducing it to us. Zoya unfortunately has been too tall for this category for more than a year. But we've always kept her bike height so that her feet can reach the floor. This makes her feel balanced and confident.

Snowy is such a pleasure to watch. The kids are in love with her. Raghu comes for my morning 10 minute walk with Snowy. He loves running her up and down the street (while i hold the leash as Snowy is still very scared of the street level noise, traffic, street dogs etc and will dart around unexpectedly. Zoya plays special hide and seek games and will give Snowy water, treats, select toys from her stash that Snowy can chew on etc.

2010-12-13T09:32:00.000+05:30

So excited that today i started my Morning Pages (http://www.theartistsway.com/tools). Have had the book for over 2 years and kept meaning to start it. But here it is... its time. Feels exhilerating to just get back to writing after this long break. And can't wait for the changes that are inevitable as a result.

Zoya is cycling, asking for horse riding sessions, wanting a piano and generally being very new to me :-)
Raghu is waiting for his Wii to get fixed, his PSP to get fixed and planning a shopping expedition with my mom at the newly renovated Dorabjee in Pune. Grandmother and grandson are in cahoots and i'm not allowed to know what they are up to.

Right this minute Raghu, Zoya and Ammamma (my mom) are talking about a shop where Z is selling dresses.
We saw the new Narnia 3-D movie yesterday and loved it. My favorite conversation was between Lucy and the new little Narnian girl. The girl says "when i grow up i want to be just like you". And Lucy says "when you grow up you will be just like you" I think this is the line... someone help correct it. But the meaning was beautiful and exactly what our lives are about these days. Raghu told me what to expect at moments in the movie that i was surprised he knew about. As it turns out he was simply being a good listener of dialog in the movie. And i did not catch on to some of the stuff as i was focusing on the special effects and missing whole chunks of dialog :-)

As a term 'unschooling' is limiting me completely. I'm getting stronger in simply saying "we are living our lives... and have not chosen school as part of our lives at this time". Perhaps there are more families out there who feel like this. Talking to my dear friend, Urmila, was as usual freeing, and we discussed this and felt alike in that moment. Starting the morning pages is feeling like a huge relief. I needed inner guidance but was unable to tune in for all the other noise in my head. And these pages help siphon off the crud and lets me go deep within. Feels good.

These past weeks we have made 2 new friends. One is a temporarily homeschooling child who is visiting from the US for a few months (end of trip now) and loves video gaming and imaginary play just like Raghu. So they have both had multiple playdates. The other friend is someone who has been around but we had not discovered each others families. When i posted about how our days are on the Ning site... the father read it to the boy and we got a call the next day asking for a playdate. The boy, A, found many similarities between him and Raghu and wanted to meet up asap. So we all did ...at A's house and had, as Raghu said later on, "the best day of my life" :-) Oh actually the line was "the second best day of my life" as the first was with the other child just a few days before. Wow, for a child to have 2 best days of his life within a week is rather amazing to me.

I've been working hard in my head and in my journal to keep an upbeat attitude about being in India. We miss beauty. As urbanites we really miss beauty in our surroundings... gardens, cleanliness, side walks, pollution free areas, woods, ponds, lakes etc. So keeping an in-the-moment attitude and being positive about finding interesting and interested friends is crucial. And lo and behold it has been happening. Just have to stay open and welcoming.

2010-12-09T11:21:00.000+05:30

Its been a long while since I posted. We've had Sandra's trip that ended a few weeks ago. Photos are cataloged by Sandra here: http://sandraindia2010.blogspot.com/ I will post back her photobucket link if possible for more photos. It was an intense, look-see at India... very refreshing to see India thru new eyes. We enjoyed Diwali with her at my parents home in Bangalore. We celebrated Halloween at our home with 15 odd families from our local homeschooling community. We ended with a cultural day at Urmila's house a few hours before Sandra's flight.

Chitra and her daughters visited a local homeschooling family who lives on our street. Chitra came from Coimbatore to visit Sandra and meet homeschoolers here in Pune. It was fab for Zoya to hang out with the girls.

I will post photos to cover this past month as there is simply too much to recount. My parents are here visiting and as usual are game for a lot of things including unusual dress ups, playing choo-choo with the kids and being awesome baby sitters. They are enthusiastic and helpful. I'm so happy they are here.

We also undertook an over night bus journey to Dharwad. Just me and kids!! It was a biggie for us as i had never taken public transport long distance without another adult around. we have no photos of the trip as it was a very in the moment Zen like time for me. I went with the flow. We enjoyed Sanjeev Kulkarni's farm immensely. Raghu fished, hung out in a pond (weeds, mud and all!), Zoya played in neck deep pond water and made an adult friend :-), etc. It was beautiful weather and very refreshing to be out in the open amidst beautiful terraced farm land. Raghu and Z enjoyed some new foods.

Zoya learned bicycling!! She took off yesterday and had a blast all day around our complex. Its been a lot of fun for her... a whole new activity opened up for her. All in all a very eventful year coming to a close. So much learning, changing, growing... oh yeah speaking of growing... i now officially have twins for all practical purposes... as Zoya and Raghu are the same height as of this past month :-)

Halloween at the Booradhwajs

2010-11-01T21:33:00.000+05:30

http://s26.photobucket.com/albums/c111/SandraDodd/india/week2/HalloweenParty/
Sandra's link to her album of our Halloween party. Mostly homeschooling families and some neighbors.
A potluck with many goodies from many awesome cooks. Some pretty amazing costumes. Raghu's costume was made and put together by Sandra. Ravi got beat up good. And i was Princess Zoya's cat. Sandra was a tree... scary only in the dark. In the light she looked like a happy tree.

Finally on a roll with uploading pictures

2010-10-28T11:20:00.001+05:30

The little heart shaped tag is pink in color and has SNOWY inscribed on it and our phone number on the back. Sandra bought it for us from ABQ. Snowy is not letting me get really close with the camera while awake... so this was the best so far.

Our picnic trip to Velhe yesterday was lovely. After a farm-visit we went over to the nearby river and frolicked in the water and mud.

Zoya has been on a writing mission. She likes writing her name and will often ask me to make her little books with words in them that she can copy out.

Our first time with Snowy

2010-10-26T13:14:00.001+05:30

Pictures of Snowy with her brothers and sisters and mom. These photos are from when we were at the little house of the watchman who took care of these puppies and mom. My friend Aishwarya (in that photo where we are taking Snowy in the car for the first time) takes care of the puppies and helps with Blue Cross, spaying/neutering etc. She cared for these litters and still does. She managed to get most of the pups adopted. I admire her for her determination, kindness and service.

Tanaya, Sanjana, Simone, Ram, Kabir and Sanjyot all came to visit the puppies and feed them. We got Snowy home after she was 8 weeks old so she got plenty of time to nurse. The mom, Brownie, was a sweetheart and was nursing her own puppies and another set!

Our month in Pictures

2010-10-26T12:23:00.000+05:30

Raghu and Trikay (taken during my sister's trip to Pune)

Birthday party for Maya. She is 5!

Zoya and Maya in their matching birthday dresses (gifted by Sushi Masi) next to our aquarium (passed on by a local family) of 5 gold fishes and some snails.

Snowy travels in a car for the first time from her home to our home.

Carved Oranges posing around the house.

Tanaya, our local dog whisperer, showing us ways to play with the puppy. She is a lovely, helpful young teenager who lives near us.

Posing with Snowy at home. You can see Snowy's new collar )

Made Raavan out of cereal boxes and paper and loads of tape. Ananya and her friend helped create it. We had a good time making it and then burning it on Dashehra night.

Tanaya, Sanjana, Meghna (kids from our building complex) and Z and R made a leg-star so Snowy would play within it. Snowy loved all the attention.

Rethinking here....

2010-10-26T09:21:00.000+05:30

I'm sorry if i was too aggressive in my post of the Ken Robinson video links.

For me the animated video connected dots in an easy way like nothing else I've seen so far. As it has for many, many people.

Wrt Unschooling... I know its not the path for everyone but its one more choice we all have.... amongst many choices.

I BEG YOU TO WATCH THIS

2010-10-22T09:32:00.002+05:30

This video and the one below are incredibly clear, concise and point to new paths. Those of you who send your children to school... please watch these. I'm not trying to alienate my school-sending-friends.
....But sitting on my couch with my children and dog, watching Ken robinson on my HP-mini, while Raghu 'collaborates' with Zoya and tells her how to defeat a character in her DS game, while we consider the why and how of nuclear bombs (Raghu's interest in bombs and related big-boom-stuff)... I cannot help but share my enthusiasm for freedom.... in learning, living etc.

And then watch this:

2010-09-17T20:43:00.000+05:30

Raghu and Zoya's Salad Surprise. Made an hour ago by Chef Raghu and Helper Chef Zoya... all by themselves in the kitchen. (I was sitting outside working my Ning site... and ready to help if they needed it)

Chop onions, tomatoes, ginger, mozzarella, carrot, and orange.
Toss these with oregano, parsley, pepper, salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger and kadipatta.
And squeeze lemon juice at the end.

As told by Raghu.

Its delicious.

About violent games

2010-09-09T12:37:00.001+05:30

Some one or the other is always writing about the media, video games, violence therein etc.. I'd like to share a take on this topic that i really like: http://motherjones.com/politics/2000/06/violent-media-good-kids-0
Also here: http://sandradodd.com/game/tales and choices are here:http://sandradodd.com/game/online
And as i re-read today these pages i discovered this page link: http://sandradodd.com/game/benefits

I can't begin to say everything i feel about video games... from my beginning ambivalence/ aversion/ annoyance/ fear/ more fear, etc.. all the way to today's complete acceptance of my child's love and devotion to figuring out a game, his determination, his focus, his interest, his ability to explain it, talk about it passionately, willingness to give Ravi and me tutorials/workshops on a game etc.. He is currently playing a game that is about a guy in school. And the classes need you to figure out games/words/math etc. then you pass the game. I help him out with certain parts when he asks for it. Been very interesting to watch his intensity in figuring out those puzzles/tests that the school teachers are throwing out to this character. The character gets bullied and keeps getting detention. And Raghu is wondering why this is so. Lead to conversations about the way the video gamer designed the game.

There is a cd we have with Jerry Seinfeld stand-up shows on it. We listen to it often while driving around the maniacal roads of India.... puts up in a good mood :-) So in one of the clips he says "When men are growing up, reading about Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, these aren't just kid fantasies. These are career options." That one really cracks me up... cause both Raghu and Ravi nod their heads whenever they listen to him say it :-)

Sandra's visit to India

2010-09-09T10:48:00.001+05:30

Happy to announce Sandra's visit to India. Trip dates: October 24th to November 22nd.

Formal notice:
SANDRA DODD will be visiting India for a month. If you'd like to meet her please email Hema. She is willing to give talks and do small group meetings as well. I invited her and she is here as my guest. She is interested in meeting the homeschooling community here and otherwise explore local markets, theaters, streets, games etc :-)

Quick Intro: Sandra Dodd is considered one of the foremost proponents of unschooling, also known as "natural learning", "child-led" learning or the more recent "whole-life learning". Speaking at conferences across the U.S. and writing daily at several email lists and message boards, she brings the message of unschooling and mindful parenting to thousands. As an HEM columnist, she wrote eloquently and passionately about the way humans learn outside of school and sharing the lives of her own unschooled children with others. She is one of the clearest voices amongst unschooling advocates. You can also check out her Blog.

Inventions....

2010-08-28T16:33:00.001+05:30

I just realised that Raghu has been choosing invention related movies. He loves:

Charlie and Chocolate Factory... specifically listens and talks about Mr. Wonka (He is yet to see the new one)
Robots a fab movie about a young Robot inventor.
Meet the Robinsons about a young orphaned child who dreams of building a time machine to go back in time and find his mom.
And Raghu says a null-void-protector is the invention aspect of the Ben10 movie he saw recently.

He has watched these movies over and over... and talks to me often about building games, inventing things that will make it possible for us to fly etc. What fun to talk about stuff with him and see his intense curiosity, love for inventions etc... grow.

Amazing possibilities always

2010-08-28T16:15:00.000+05:30

http://www.ted.com/talks/pranav_mistry_the_thrilling_potential_of_sixthsense_technology.html
A fellow homeschooler shared this brilliant link with our local homeschooling group. It is mind blowing and way out there. I got goose bumps watching this. I love the world of technology but always wondered if the world around us and the tech in our palms would interconnect. This is it.

I also want to pay homage to Manish Mehta.... a friend of Ravi's who passed away recently. Many years ago Manish was asking his friends (Ravi and about 7-8 others all from the same College in Pune) to think about helping him in a new venture... putting up computer terminals in airports so everyone could access email anywhere. this was around 1997-98. They laughed, kidded around and did not take him seriously. Of course... within a year or so... life changed...the internet became so important to people that it was indeed made available everywhere possible.

After watching this video i was reminded of Manish. When someone proposes something supposedly impossible, supposedly way out there... think before saying 'nah... no way'. Anything IS possible.

Raghu's big moment.

2010-08-27T14:13:00.000+05:30

Raghu and I took a walk to the local Bigflix store to get a video. On the way there he asked to have a Butta... the official street food of the monsoons.... lovely charcoal grilled corn. The vendor takes a cut lemon half dipped in a mixture of salt and chillie powder and rubs it over the corn. Amazing taste. It was a big deal for me to experience this with Raghu. Its been a long 2 years here... and its taken him a long time to find street food appetizing. And its been a journey for me to trust that my kids will be fine eating street food. It cuts both ways.

Raghu now eats paav bhaji, onion uttapams, masala papad, pani puri (thanks to Sushi Masi), and few more staple foods that are easily available in India. For the cost of a subway sandwich (ya... its here in India) we could eat 2 or 3 snacks. So its nice to be able to take raghu out to eat at less expensive places. Until now he was still searching for foods that cost just a few dollars in the US... he wanted a mustard, mayo, lettuce, cheese sandwich... impossible in India.... unless you make it at home... or go to a fancy 5 star restaurant. Felt bad for the kid. But now... we are Indies.... we have made it to the street side vendor. yahooooo. so here is that momentous occasion captured on my cell..

The charcoal is fired up on an upside-down, large, cut-out tin. The corn is not washed. His tarp was leaking in places. The lemon had rubbed against many corns. The vendor's hands had never known a glove... nor was there a sink he was washing his hands at. Cars and trucks were zipping past. We were standing and eating on a broken road patch right by the road. And it was all fine... because Raghu has adapted/acclimatized to it all... so hot, grilled corn served in the husk dripping with lemony, salty, chilly juices has been happily accepted.

About learning

2010-08-20T09:58:00.000+05:30

I wrote the following to our local Homeschooling group. The thread was "lets share about our kids".. their interests, activities etc.
-------------------------------------------------------
Like Urmila says the real learning is going on all the time at a deeper level. (urmila wrote about not-so-obvious, deeper level learning that is on-going even as a child might look like he is doing nothing tangible.)

In the train to Indore (just returned yesterday) Raghu was annoyed that i'd gotten Zoya a whole book of puzzles to do. So i pointed out to him that normally he detests books like that and hence i got him other stuff to do. He was sulking... so i immediately pulled out my diary and made up a few pages of sums, mazes and things for him to do. Z's book was too easy for him. Then Ravi showed us some sums that all add up to the same number... and then we did a series of 19+9, 29+9, 39+9 etc... which Raghu loved. In all of this there was a deeper undercurrent of Raghu needing me to acknowledge his hurt. Then the patience of talking him thru my thought process and how it was not an intentional oversight. Etc. So much little conversation that allows kids to process emotions, our big wide world etc.

I love this one line in Stuart Little 2... snowbell the cat advises Stuart "If more people gave up we would have fewer wars". its an interesting bit of advice for me. Someone who is often aggressive. Raghu and I discussed this line many times over. Then the conversation switched to how Zoya has been making up imaginary worlds and how it bothers Raghu. Time to talk... time to listen... what a lovely thing it is that we get to ponder the world with our children. I love their take on things.

Raghu caught me being short with Zoya... and he looked at me and said softly "maybe you should give her some time to think over her options". It was well timed advice as i have been unwell and impatient all day.

I do record stuff on my blog as often as possible. Upto even a few months ago it really helped me to see all the activity going on in our lives.. because in a fear-ridden moment i could browse my blog and feel better. Also it really helps my dh to know more about our lives during the time he is at work. Its hard to share many things as we did not always get so much time together.

Raghu loves video games. For those fearing video games this is a great page to visit: http://sandradodd.com/videogames/ Raghu plays the Wii. He especially likes Goku, TMNT and has gone way deep into Super Mario Galaxy. he also has a membership at Club Penguin and cares for his online pets and plays many games and earns money online. Its a great site. He wants to experience a real DJ set up. He has been seeing Michael jackson videos and loves the music... even the slow numbers. He plays word games, connects the dots of the world, engages us all in loads of bed-tumble-play, he creates amazing little appetizers in the kitchen. He enjoys discussing video games, wants to have a video game club, is very fond of exploring new online games, has recently taken a liking to runescape and Travian.

Raghu, Ravi and i are determined to learn Italian... we are planning a trip to Italy next year... raghu's wish. he recently realised that a lot of the foods he likes are from that country... good olives, mozzarella, pasta, pizza (he knows the taste of an original italian style not the domino variety, grilled veggies with oregano, salami, fresh herbs like basil etc. So its going to be a foodie trip with loads of art for me.

Raghu has been going to a lab twice week to do experiments. Its an awesome place for him right now. he chooses what he wants to do and the lady there helps him. She is willing to do topics ranging from electricity to bio-sciences.

Raghu also learnt swimming and got really good at underwater tricks this past summer. Zoya too. She is a happy fish.

Wow i've barely gotten to talking about Zoya. She is all about flitting about like a butterfly. She plays all the usual pre-schooly type things... playdough, cutting, pasting, art-craft, pretend play, cooking, etc. She also loves imitating Raghu and plays all his video games for a few minutes until something else catches her eye. She plays online games like dress up, coloring, typing, matching and mazes etc. She loves long baths and enjoys playdates with other kids.

Both kids have been picking up Hindi, Kannada and Marathi. We are all cracking multi-language word-jokes. We travel a lot these days.

Anyway these days all the not-so-obvious learning is very obvious to me. I am no longer focused on seeing the interconnected subjects in everything (for e.g. i'd see chemistry, math and reading as the subjects cooking sessions covered... till a few months ago)... i now simply make the connections and love chatting with them about their world view :-) Everything under the sun is interconnected.

Last para: We flew back from Indore in a 40 seater plane... raghu saw how small it was and told us that it would fly very high because it was so light. I then explained how it was not a pressurized cabin and cna't stand high winds etc. And will fly low. This connected to boats and ships and why we did not need to pressurize anything if it was at sea level.. then it led to other connections today about how a submersible needs to be pressurized too. Then we saw titanic on tv today as i rested... and the discussion continued into why the ship took so long to sink... raghu thought big meant it would sink faster. etc...amazing range of topics and all conversations over a period of many hours... each lasting a few minutes. the learning is constant. Its just not designed, clean-cut or boxed. Its free flowing, spaced out, inspired, etc.

And these days the biggest learning is between raghu and Zoya. loads of interpersonal problem solving.... don't read "sibling rivalry".... read... real time problem solving.. and i'm always available to help see a new side.

2010-08-12T16:21:00.000+05:30

Dh got me a HP Mini laptop... which has been doing wonders for me... my old laptop was definitely in trouble. All this month my Dhannu (i had to name this little beauty) has been traveling with me. Combined with the portable Tata Photon i'm invincible :-) And finally i can Skype!

Browsing the video game link on Sandra's site just now and found this link: http://www.wired.com/gaming/gamingreviews/commentary/games/2008/09/gamesfrontiers_0908

Zoya got a split lip when she attempted a Hunter-wali jump from her bunk bed. When i got to her she bled all over my shoulder and was quite shook up. After many ice packs and some turmeric application she calmed down and fell asleep. I went back to the room to see how it might have happened... she had assorted colors on the floor, books in her hand (at the time of the fall), a metal bicycle chain with a lock on one end and some other odds and ends all around her. She must have leaped from the top bunk and caught on the steps. She is normally such a sure-footed girl that i was surprised and i think so was she. Her lip is swollen. I'm sure it must have hurt a lot. But the reverse pout is making her look adorable (its her upper lip that got cut on the inside). Ah well... scrapes and cuts and bleeds... happen.

Zoya had a lovely playdate all day yesterday with a little girl called Shrutakirti... who was visiting us after many weeks. I noticed that whenever these 2 meet they have a routine... first they spend some time asking each other about dolls, figuring out who is mama etc.. and then they start dressing up, then come the heels, then the make up session... then little purses stuffed with play money, a bag of odds and ends, some role play, then some horsing around. All this takes up about 3 hours or so... punctuated by little snacks/drinks or lunch and then finally a long, long soak in the tub. With bubbles, toys and lots of splashing around. Then after they have washed and changed they paint and watch a DVD and eat more snacks.

We (our weekly playdate group) had planned on having a hot-glue-gun activity yesterday.. the idea was to use all my junk collection and create a dragon.. but nope... kids were happy being with each other and making endless marble run construction, nerf gun shooting, train stations, etc. Then some video gaming, horsing around, snacks and a movie. It turned out to be a lovely, long day.

Cousins, wedding, baby, video gaming etc.

2010-08-11T10:47:00.002+05:30

These past few weeks have been remarkable in many ways. I'm not sure where to begin. The kids experienced a wedding in Dharwad.... Raghu ate off a banana leaf like evrybody else. The cousins, mine and kids', met and reconnected. Cousins from distant places like Delhi and Dubai. In this first photo from left to right are Raghu, Sumedh, Rushath, Zoya and Advai.

Then I left the kids with Ravi and his Mom so i could spend 2 days in Dharwad on my own. I went to attend my oldest mami's 13th day (death) ceremony. Kids understood mostly. But Zoya was not too happy at the last minute when they dropped me off to the bus.

Raghu joined a local Lab called Quest for kids. The location Raghu goes to has a lovely old fashioned school lab feel with large windows overlooking hills. Raghu likes the bright airy feel and the science teacher who runs the place. He gets to choose experiments and work with her help. He has gone twice a week for 1.5 hours abotu 6 times now and seems to love it. He can choose electricity experiments, Chemistry stuff, light, heat, water, (he made a submarine), even electronics.

Zoya has been going about 2-3 times a week to the school i mention in the post below. She enjoys the activity and company of other kids. She is very observant of other children adn their play. Often time she will ask her 'teacher' to show her stuff on a black board. She loves imitating the other kids and takes a little desk and opens books and colors etc. She plays loads of dress up, pretend-play type stuff with all of us. One of my helpers is often found wearing my heels and a dupatta (parading as a saree) and Zoya directs her and tells her what role to play. Its loads of fun. Zoya's language usage is as usual unique. She told me the road is grumpy. I asked her why. She said "can't you feel it?" The road we were driving on was very bumpy ;-)

There are loads of photos to be uploaded. I am keen to clean up my photo uploads/picasa usages./camera video issues etc... during our trip to Indore. I'm waiting eagerly to take the train journey with ravi and kids. We leave Friday and return on Wednesday. It for a ceremony/occasion. But i always like going there. Ravi's sister and her family are very welcoming and his aunt makes the most yum food.

Raghu's wish for more video gaming friends is fast coming true. All of a sudden we are almsot always hosting video gaming sessions. I'm still not as much a part of it as i'd like. but i'm the food/comfort person... and make sure all are hydrated, eating and enjoying. Occasionally i have to help with negotiations. Some days i find Raghu content to watch his friends monopolize the gaming consoles for long stretches. So i ask him quietly if he needs help getting a turn or some time etc. And he says with surprise "no... i'm fine watching. did you know amma... he knows this and this and...... I'm learning so many new things/maneuvers etc.." Very interesting to see how intense his interest is.

Zoya's Day Out

2010-07-27T15:11:00.000+05:30

This post is going to be dedicated to just Zoya and her awesomeness. I have a friend, Shefali, who has started an open learning space called "पुनरनवः". (I love Google and its amazing language tool.) Zoya and Shefali's daughter, Shashu, have played many times in the past. So now they both meet at पुनरनवः in the afternoons for a couple of hours. Its free play with sand, paint, different montessori materials... all in a peaceful, happy, large house with many levels. And Shefali and I have an understanding that Zoya will not be a regular student. I confirm in the morning if Z wants school that day. Yep... Zoya calls it her school and loves calling Shefali 'teacher'. Zoya would wear a uniform and ride teh school bus if only Shefali required it. Funny how both Shefali and I are not keen to make the space school like...and Zoya insists on all school protocol :-)

Anyway so Zoya has been to this space a few times in the past weeks. Yesterday Zoya spent 2 hours there in the afternoon. When she came home she went to Tanya's home (a college going young adult who lives in our complex'). She did art and craft and played with Ziggy, T's dog, and came home after 2 hours. Then she went for a walk with my helper and ended up sending her back home... Zoya joined another older teenage friend (Tanaya of swimming with my kids fame) and went to her home. Zoya hung out with Tanaya at her home and played with their dog, Zorro. Ravi and Raghu went over to pick her up at 8pm (T also lives in our complex) and Zoya refused to come home. She was playing happily with Zorro. So much later as Ravi, raghu and I were finishing up dinner at home... Tanaya got Zoya home. Zoya was sad and cried a great deal... it was tough for her to leave Zorro.

Time to consider getting a pet. Time to accept zoya's new freedom, independence, etc. Its been a very fun time for all of us to watch her get her little bag, water bottle, book and pencil etc, a kerchief too... and then say that she is getting ready for school. No doubt all the school talk from neighbours, school going cousins etc make her feel like she is missing out. Thanks to Shefali and these lovely teens, Zoya is getting to expand her world.

Its not Greek to me anymore

2010-07-06T10:28:00.004+05:30

Greek Mythology was not really on my radar... i get names of famous Romans and Greek historic figures mixed up usually. But all that changed recently. Raghu knew bits of Greek mythology due to Asterix and Obelix and some gaming characters. Idania, a local homeschooling mom, offered to do a 5 week unit on Greek Mythology with the local homeschooled kids. I did not think we'd last till week 2. Besides Raghu does not like to sit and do stuff in ways that mimic class/school settings. So doing craft/coloring/making different greek gods from toilet rolls and then talking about it all with him seemed daunting to me.

Raghu prefers gaming with Idania's sons... but they did not do gaming during the greek mythology classes and would hang out with the little kids and some older ones too and did all the craft etc. So Raghu, in his quest for older-boy company, went along with everything. He did some of the craft and cooking and even some research. He asked me to write his paper on Hades, the god of the underworld... a topic dear to his heart now ;-) And before the final presentation he decided to dress up as Perseus as he did not like to talk/present material like the other older kids. So below are some pics from our Greek Mythology presentation. Raghu even has a bag around his waist that has red lining sticking out... blood from Medusa's head :-)

Idania hosted all the classes at her home and put in a lot of effort into collecting materials and reading books and showing videos etc. She passed on this superb link: http://www.abc.net.au/arts/wingedsandals/ that Raghu loved. He saw the videos and played games on it several times. the gathering at our home was fun and the presentations by the children were well received. Some of us dressed up. Ravi and I were Zeus and Danae (Perseus's mom and dad :-) We did a potluck of mediterranean and traditional greek food.

In the News here in Pune

2010-06-20T10:35:00.006+05:30

UPDATE: These links should work for a while to come. Front Page and Page 3

A few of us from our Pune Homeschoolers group were interviewed recently. The journalist Karuna did a good spread about Homeschooling and Unschooling. She interviewed me for over 2 hours and has written candidly and clearly. I was nervous about being misrepresented and quoted out of context... as has happened in the past (a few months ago). But Urmila assured me that this journalist came across differently. And after reading the article i can see that she was right.

Its for a Marathi supplement paper that is part of the Times of India Group. I will get a translation from a friend within a few days and post that link back here.

Front page was this: ~~http://lite.epaper.timesofindia.com/getpage.aspx?pageid=35&pagesize=&edid=&edlabel=TOIPU&mydateHid=18-06-2010&pubname=&edname=&publabel=TOI~~
(There are links to Sandra's and Joyce's sites listed here in the bluish column in English)

Then you click "next" at the end of the article twice to get to the 3rd page.... where our individual interviews are.

TRANSLATION JUST IN, thanks to Pradnya, local homeschooler. This may get edited once i get back to Pune... as its her first draft. She is also going to translate the rest of the article this week:
Schools fail to create an environment where children would feel like going to school willingly, and learn there 3-4 hrs happily. So, to foster learning, an enthusiastic environment should be created...says Hema. Hema has been unschooling her children Raghu and Zoya. She has not used books to teach her children ABCD. Her house is first meant for the children.

A proper environment has been created at home to learn, and there are lots of opportunities to explore. One can feel it as soon as one enters the house.

Raghu is interested in engineering skills and science, so a card sheet lab has been created in the drawing room. There was a medical reason behind unschooling Raghu. Hema adds, while we were in USA Raghu was allergic to certain pollens. His illness had led him to seek emergence medical treatment. "Dr. Kevin Holder has changed our lives." We use to give lots of healthy food to Raghu, to prevent his allergies. Whether he liked it or not was not very important then. However, Dr. Holder gave us lots of good suggestions, like listening to your children, trusting them etc. So Raghu started getting the food he liked to eat. He got cured completely within few months, but because of his illness, he was under mental stress... so going to school was not advisable for him. At that time Dr. Holder suggested us the option of home schooling. In the mean time, we gathered lots of information regarding home schooling and unschooling. "Listen to your children trust them". This advise led us to take our decision. We were little skeptical about "learning" with 30 or more children in the classroom. In the mean time Raghu had started learning things at home. His grasping power was also good. He was interested in learning many things. His natural way of learning wouldn't have got justice at school, so we decided to unschool Raghu. Raghu is curious to know many things. At the age of 7 he knows positive and negative effects of magnets. We should give options for learning and let the child choose whatever he likes says Hema.
Each parent feels that our children should learn and earn more than them. But while doing that, importance is not given to the mental satisfaction and happiness of the child. In unschooling, this need is fulfilled, so there is scope for all round development.

Compulsion to sit quietly in one place, no freedom, one class, all same age group children..... in such an environment how can children learn? this question bothers Hema a lot. So she is very firm on decision to unschool Raghu forever.

2010-06-06T17:46:00.002+05:30

Ravi was taking a call from a close friend... but it was Sunday and his only day this week with the kids... he worked Saturday too. So Raghu was mad. And i was trying to help Ravi finish his call and Ravi was mad at Raghu for not letting him finish the call... so Raghu and i figured doing something to Ravi's body might be fun so Raghu could bear the waiting period. So he colored Ravi's legs and nails with markers. That gave Ravi about 8 minutes more on the phone. And to his credit, Ravi has not taken any calls for the rest of the day.

I've been spending time on the floor building with lego alongside Raghu. However i figured i could make some art... abstracts to engage my interest more fully. So here is one such image. 5 minutes after i made it... i destroyed it. It felt like Sand-Manadala making.

2010-06-04T12:33:00.001+05:30

Zoya and i made this crown this morning. My little princess is very into Angelina Ballerina and princesses.

Mangoes

2010-06-04T10:43:00.003+05:30

We have been consuming inordinate amounts of Mangoes. Zoya eats them with the skin! I eat only the pulp. Its been glorious. Here is a picture of the mango variety i love best "Alphonso or Aapoos". We have been getting boxes of organic mangoes and making mango shakes, pulp with chapatis or just eating them with juice dribbling down our chins. We is Ravi, Zoya and me. Raghu can't tolerate our mango breath! I'm glad i've learnt to accept him as an individual... not as a 'kid' who needs fruit to 'balance' out his diet. Hooray for eating what makes our body happy.

My kids eat with happiness and joy. They eat when they are hungry. I catch myself cajoling them to eat when others eat and have learnt to stop that. They eat because they are hungry and want to nourish their bodies not because others are eating or that the food is on ration or has to be finished or else or because of emotional black mail ( good boy if you eat, bad if you don't) etc. Raghu enjoys breakfasting with Ravi in the morning before ravi goes to work. The time suits them both... and they like eating together at the table. Its sweet. The moment we force him to eat, the sweetness is gone.

I'd like the mangoes of the world to remain sweet for my children.

Tenacity

2010-06-04T09:11:00.005+05:30

This morning i noticed/understood several things:

Raghu asked for help with defeating some character on Mario Super Galaxy. As i sat there watching and helping occasionally (mostly helping with focusing and targeting a shoot) i saw how determined and focused Raghu could be. I've seen this many times but had not acknowledged it much. When he is doing something he really wants to do he can be tenacious. I can imagine that anything he really sets out to learn he can. He has been doing a lot of mental math simply in order to keep track of stars/things bought on Club Penguin etc. This used to be hard for him... and now its second nature. he will ask me to confirm his calculations several times in a day. Which i happily do. Raghu used to say (after a sad playground fight) that he could never do math... his words. And now i remember that and smile. And some day when he needs reminding... i can remind him of this. His tenacity even when he looses a whole half hour worth of Mario levels/gaming.... is incredible. he may cry or become angry but will soon get back and go go go. I guess we are all like that depending on what the task at hand is and whether we really want something bad. The old-me would be happier if he was tenacious doing math/art etc. Now i see the learning everywhere and can appreciate Raghu's focus and drive no matter he is working on.

I get flustered in Video games and find my eyes tiring out quickly. I even find it hard to sit at a computer for too long. So I would project this on to my kids and think that media has to be controlled because of eye-strain. Yet i know that i too am tenacious when i set out to paint or read.. and no matter how much i read i know how to rest my eyes and continue reading. I'm sure my kids figure that out too. They will/do take breaks for food, jumping on the trampoline or running around the house. We talk about how our eyes send us messages... watering eyes, red-eye etc... and how we can help our eyes rest. The large TV screen-Wii has made things better... the DS handheld and PSP are both tiny screens. I can see how Raghu loves to move around the room and hit the tennis ball or enjoys showing us his moves on Mario etc. And when the wii is freely available (again within the means possible... zoya gets her turn too) there is less need for extending play non stop. An easy break and knowing that your 'turn' is still on... sister's turn will be later on... so i can do as i will with my time for Wii makes for stress-free-play.

Of course they play together too and there is no hard and fast set time limit. things are fairly loose if the 2 using the wii are feeling that way. Some days we agree on time-limits for each.. some days they work it out and ease in and out.

Raghu is keen to explore and experiment thru his games. He will often just try out games and see if they feel good. He has many opportunities to try things out. This helps him a lot. I enjoy the luxury of trying things out too.

I had enrolled in a pre-paid-gym and slowly over 3-5 months i figured out that i don't like being in the gym. the account is now frozen and Ravi will use the membership. I lost some of the money. I beat myself up about it and figured i'd take a small bite next time. Now ravi and i hired a personal Yoga trainer to come home every morning at 6 am for an hour. It was a trial of 2 weeks before confirming. We love it. Ah, the pleasure of trying out something and testing and tuning into our body's response etc. Someone on an unschooling list said that her brother was forced to finish he food/clean plate, usual stuff. And years later got to know that he has a mild allergy to the one part of eggs (yellow or white .. i can't remember)... ridiculous battle fought. Someone else wrote about seeing her child figure out which foods made her feel better and which did'nt.

I notice that Raghu will say things like "thats not a combination i like or my stomach hurts when i eat that, or simply i don't want that"... for someone talking from knowing his own body well... that is enough of an indication for me to back off. I offer different foods all the time and the responses keep changing. Raghu has not eaten dosas in a long while. I noticed how he has been eating more eggs and bacon lately and figured its a good time for our fermented, high-protein dosas. And sure enough raghu has been eating dosas for a couple of days now.

I did it to just add variety... and cause i don't like the smell of bacon much. So i do acknowledge my needs too... but if raghu had insisted on bacon... i'd make it for him. And by offering variety he appreciates the change too.

Well back to the title.. It makes me happy to see my kids pursue their interests with tenacity.

Swim clip of Zoya :-)

2010-06-02T17:25:00.001+05:30

Zoya started to swim and float on her back. She can retrieve things from the bottom of the pool. She is so agile in water... its beautiful to watch.

Artistic creations and water play

2010-06-02T16:37:00.007+05:30

Zoya made this lovely, airy, luminescent water color painting yesterday during our Tuesday playdate.

Raghu made this 3-fold 3-dimensional collage for his desk. I worked on it with him. He did a lot of directing, glue-gun-gluing and cutting out. Notice the old-coffee-maker filter pot stuck on for a pen-holder. There is even a Lego shelf and a small, upturned lid for odds and ends.

Zoya made this interesting collage on cardboard. She is inspired to collect things for our collage-treasure box ever since our Farmer's Market visit in Mumbai. They had a similar set up for kids there by this interesting group.

I worked on this new nameplate for our main door with the kids.

Raghu's painting has been going on for a few days now. He keeps getting inspired to add things to it...beans, glue, liquid paint etc. Its a good thing that we chose to start this image on cardboard :-)

I'd like to post some more swimming video clips. The kids are truly like fish. This one is of Raghu flipping underwater. He had only just figured out how to that. So we were all super excited.

.

Small change, Big change

2010-05-27T18:31:00.003+05:30

Some more pics of our day today... our grain art, colorful play home and the lovely collection of tools that made the grain art. Just by moving things around in the front room and deciding that while the kid may choose to watch TV and do the Wii... i could sit with them and do something that inspires me too.... the energy of the day changed! Raghu shared a lovely Wii moment with me... and then proceeded to do grain art. Zoya worked on the play house and listed to music from the 80s. Raghu came out and built an amazing Lego plane... but its not finished and so i can't click it yet. And now Raghu won a new level on his Spiderman Wii.

Usually i start to get tired of supporting the media/videogaming stuff as the day moves on (on days where this is their focus)...i get cranky and start to feel that urge to get the children to do my bidding... reading/fixing dinner etc. But I've been working on those thoughts/urges. And sure enough i'm finding ways to calm myself and catch those urges in midair. I have started crochet again and do these artistic activities that make 'me' feel better. I basically distract myself for a while. Then i feel refreshed and i can refocus on the kids... either enjoying their TV show, DVD or computer stuff. Or in this case... like today where they ended up doing activities with me. And now we are going to drop off my helper and then come back and play Wii Mario Super Galaxy :-)

Some pics

2010-05-27T15:36:00.002+05:30

One of the pics is of the big playdate we had at our home.... 6 kids and later one more. It was quite something. There were folks from Mumbai, Panchgani and Pune.... and a first homeschool get together for most of them.

And there is the one of Ironman Raghu. He has been taking Ravi's old comp apart and was newly inspired from the movie... found a perfectly shaped part and came down to surprise us :-)

Then there is Zoya's new house i our front room. We painted it and made it out of the last pf the cardboard boxes from our move many months ago. This one is supported by the side walls and makes good use of the corner of the room... there is a light inside and a couple of throws and some dolls and a snack. Zoya helped me all morning long. My helper, Roopa painted some of the red wall and was sweetly sitting inside the house for more than an hour playing house with Zoya.

Swinging in Manhattan

2010-05-27T11:26:00.003+05:30

Today Raghu gave me an awesome experience. He was playing Spiderman 3 on the Wii. And he called out to me... so i ran in to the room. And he showed me Spiderman jumping from the Empire State building! He was so thrilled with the idea of climbing this tall structure that he remembers clearly from our days in NJ/NYC. And getting to jump from heights is very cool for him. he has no fear of heights... unlike me.

Now you have to understand that my exposure to virtual environments in games with Raghu has been only in fantasy lands... like Prince of Persia or Mario etc. Not complete, realistic reality. But this game was allowing us to explore Manhattan, street by street! The street details were not so great... no stores or things. But still yellow cabs, people walking and generic store fronts etc were all there.

Raghu and i were so excited to explore the city... i was able to tell him which way was north... and he got the idea and we found Central Park! And sitting here in Pune, India..... it felt surreal to be able to maneuver a swinging man thru a city i know well. Goosebumps as we explored a city i love and enjoyed walking in. I could tell Raghu about meeting Ravi for the first time at the then standing tall, World Trade Center Borders book store.

And Raghu enjoyed seeing Manhattan from my perspective. He tends to explore gaming environs without paying attention to the time limit or challenge at hand. He enjoys exploring then he plays. No pressure to win. He focuses on clearing levels and winning when he wants to... otherwise not.

of fish and other things

2010-05-20T16:45:00.004+05:30

Raghu and Zoya were dunking, making body mushroom shapes, floating happy and just completely being fish like in the pool today. I am so grateful for this peaceful little green prison we live in ;-) A lovely pool that is clean and a few steps away. We can run to it and not even take towels. just run back wet and dripping home. I found my facial muscles hurting from smiling continuously today in the pool. It was so blissful. My kids are fish and that made me inordinately happy. I could see their absolute pleasure in being able to glide thru water, twist in it, blow bubbles, hold their breath for long lengths, and really feel at ease inside the water. And the water is just cool enough for us to beat the heat.

Here i sit with some jazz on and a full, happy feeling inside. My children are in the pool with Tanaya now. And i'm getting to write, update, finish calls for the next 1.5 hours. We are expecting 2 unschooling moms and kids to visit us next month. We also have a rapelling, trekking session happening for 3 days in Matheran next month. So a lot will be happening soon. meanwhile raghu has become a DJ on club Penguin... loves those games and earning online money and using it. Zoya is coloring and doing a lot more online these days.

Ravi and i have decided to dedicate one evening a week to lego-mindstorm. We have recently managed our time to include 3 yoga sessions per week, with an instructor, from 6-7 am at home. And we both enjoy doing this class together so much that we felt we should try and do something with the kids that the 4 of us can work on together. So once a week we plan on putting on some groovy music, keeping dinner ready and just doing lego with the kids. Until now it was hard to do something where all 4 of us were involved... except swimming and rough play at home. But Zoya too has taken to lego these days... so the 4 of us can make this a regular activity. Mebbe its just time we made time for a week-night together thing. W'ends tend to be planned out/or catching up on sleep/doing impromptu things etc. So a weeknight where Ravi is making office-calendar space to be home at say, 7pm... means we can make it a ritual. Something the kids might take to. We'll see. For now Raghu is very excited. So today ravi will be home by 7 and I'll have lego, music and snacks ready for us.

Alternate Paths that Rock

2010-05-07T12:26:00.002+05:30

I posted most of the following to my PuneHomeschoolers group recently.

Been meaning to share some news with you. For the past 2 years since we moved to India i had been struggling to find friends and classes for my children. Friends, who's parents were relaxed and not on a school schedule. (Slowly this is working out thru our steadily growing punehomeschoolers group.) And teachers who are more like facilitators than rigid teachers. I have yet to find a class that Raghu loves here. Even the so called gymnastics class that we tried out at Orchid was idiotic. The instructor was making 4-7 year olds do 20 minutes of warm up, calisthenic type nonsense. I mean which young child needs a warm up? My kids and i kept waiting for the fun part... but there was none.

Anyway... a while ago Divya connected me with Anandee (Prithvi's daughter) who wanted to make some money via a flexible schedule. I offered to pay her by the hour if she could baby-sit my chidlren. By baby-sit i meant to hang out, play, follow my children all over the house kind of thing. She was awesome. Raghu especially loved talking to her about many things and would play lego with her. In a few months she had to return to her work/study elsewhere and could not continue.

This first experience made me realize that it is possible to find alternate solutions to my problem.

A few months later we moved into a different complex in Baner itself. And a neighbor here said that her 16 year old daughter was looking to tutor children over her summer vacations and in spare time. I requested her to drop the tutoring idea and just hang out with my 7 and 4 year old. Play lego, takes walks etc. Baby sitting in many ways. She agreed and the kids loved her from day one.

Now the interesting part: This family had just returned from the US and it turned out that this young lady was a proficient swimmer who had come up to Life-guard level. Therefore she was confident about handling 2 children in the pool. So another lovely summer time activity... both my kids liked being in the pool with her. I can swim and care for one child without floats.. but 2 is hard... so i used to ask one of my chidlren to have a float on. Now they could both be without floats if they wanted. Within 5-6 sessions with her.... Raghu who was the more diffident one in the pool, started dunking his head in the water! And a week ago Raghu started to swim! No floats, nice long leg flapping, forward hands etc. Beautiful to watch how much he loved it.

Now even more interesting... at some point, prior to the swimming sessions, while skating with Raghu on our terrace (Raghu held the rails) the young lady noticed that instead of telling him to do this and that and giving him pointers... it was better to just skate. Raghu had asked for the skating, he was obviously very keen on it. He simply watched her and learned. He is not skating yet.. but he progressed in his confidence that day. And the young lady learned about how he learns.

And thats how the swimming sort of happened too. He watched her do simple strokes and he followed along. and she did not try and make it a 'class' or a carrot and stick thing or anything that conventional teaching does. She knew that i was not concerned with what Raghu achieved. So she was relaxed, friendly, having a great time with the kids and voila... my kids are enjoying and actually picked up a skill.

Now wrt to video gaming. Reena's daughter (this family is also a neighbour) likes video gaming in general... and Reena seeing Raghu's video game interest asked me if i'd like her daughter to hang out with Raghu. So the young lady came and played on the Wii with Raghu. For 2 hours there was laughter, loud yells, and intermittent conversation emanating from the room. As i'm not intuitive in gaming... i tend to ask too many questions or i don't play competently and tend to bore Raghu. Ravi is better at gaming but has little time. So this young lady was perfect.

I miss the well-established, pervasive homeschooling/unschooling communities in the US besides the convenient urban parks, playgrounds and other amazing child-oriented options.... so i'm desperate for more solutions, unschooly options, open-ended, one-on-one facilitators like myself, groups that work around a child's needs without condescension etc.
As necessity is the mother of invention etc.. hooray for alternate paths.

Recent times...

2010-04-27T08:08:00.004+05:30

Raghu holding his 3 month old cousin, Avni. Since my sister and Avni were with us for more than a month, Raghu and Zoya got loads of time to observe the baby. Raghu was often lying down beside Avni and talking to her or waiting for the morning smile and gurgle session. It was sweet to see. Zoya paralleled her play... she would change her baby's diapers whenever Veena changed Avni's. Or feed or walk around trying to burp the doll.

Raghu and his friend Shubhankar in Singapore. They had just completed an indoor rope walking session.

Raghu and Zoya in a huggy mood. And me with my morning tea talking to Raghu about his ninja game during our stay in Indore. He says he prefers fist fighting to guns. Why? Cause with a gun you finish off the fight fairly quick. But with your fists you can keep going for a while :-) Loads more fun.

Zoya and her Ammamma enjoyed fresh flower garland arrangements in their hair. These were jasmine. Notice Zoya's new heels. She twirls around with them a lot.

The Raghu reading program

2010-04-26T17:29:00.007+05:30

This is Raghu's most recent haircut that i did on a whim based on his request "make it a spiky cut amma". Well his hair falls flat and silky so he does use gel from time to time to really make it stand up. We were both pleased with this hairstyle.

This is what i shared with someone on the punehomeschoolers group today.

Sharing my Raghu-reading-program ;-)

Raghu was into words like Coelophysis and Iguanodon at age 4 but could not read words like cat, mat or bat :-0 I was getting into homeschooling/unschooling at the time. I have always been an avid reader and my children often see me with books when i have time. I also read to them each night almost... its a ritual they love. I also read to them whenever they ask me to thru the day. I never shame them .. even when Raghu would ask me something that i felt he could have easily figured out.

If i ask Ravi what is 53.6 divided by 8.8. He gives me an answer. He will not ask me to figure it out, or go calculate it myself or say "what? you don't know that much?" or "i'm sure you can figure it out... now try". He knows that I ask him cause he is a walking calculator and i need a quick answer and he is free to help. Simple.

Similarly i would always tell Raghu any word he asked me to read. I never got into phonetics unless he was trying to sound out the word and wanted my help. Mostly video games and captions on DVDs and tons of books that he loves inspired him to read. I never expected a particular age or time for reading. I simply live with him and treat him like i would like to be treated. No condescension.

Surprise, surprise... he reads beautifully, sometimes haltingly and enjoys the activity most when reading Asterix and Obelix books or traveling in airports and reading signs and warnings to me. His vocabulary is huge and his reading is catching up.

Sandra has a lovely page here: http://sandradodd.com/reading that gave me courage when i started out unschooling... as i then felt Raghu might never read ... esp. the way he was at 4 :-) Silly, silly me. And i would still be happy no matter what age Zoya reads at.

Following the child's lead and strewing their path with interesting things, making our world an accessible place for a child and being their partner makes this way of learning for hte child a never ending quest. There was a funny thing Sandra did that took off like a rocket :-) http://www.sandradodd.com/learnnothingday/

The Knights are in Singapore

2010-04-13T07:29:00.004+05:30

Ravi has to attend a conference here in Singapore this week. So being the free-as-birds-unschooly family we tagged along. Raghu was game the moment we asked if he was interested. He remembers everything here quite vividly. We lived here from the time he was 4 till he turned 5.

We got the kids a scooter each (the 2 wheel, balancing, foot-propelled ones) and they have been zipping around happily. Singapore is amazing... good, clean food is very affordable and easily available everywhere, its safe for travelers with young kids, very kid friendly - lots of escalators, elevators, excellent public transport, loads of parks/playgrounds and some really nice museums AND as Raghu keeps reminding me, lots of smooth ramps, smooth tiled areas for his scooter to zip on. He wants to skate too.

We're not doing any of the more pricey Sentosa, Universal Studio like things. From the list Raghu and I came up with the focus is wandering around parks, playgrounds, museums and trying loads of food faves and some Lego shopping. Zoya only wants a new playground each day :-)... easily done. Ravi is busy but will make time for a sunrise till lunch bicycle ride at the East Coast Park on Saturday.

Today the kids are sleeping in and relaxing. Post noon we are meeting a friend and her sons at the Jurong Science Center. Thats where raghu's first real experience of a tree house started. They have a lovely one in a high tree in the surrounding gardens. For now I'm looking forward to them waking up.

A Royal 4th Birthday Party

2010-04-06T10:20:00.004+05:30

Ravi's lovely family in Indore (his mom, sister, b-i-l, aunt, cousin and his wife, nieces and nephew) gave Zoya a lovely birthday party on 2nd April. We went to Indore after our Kanha trip as the cousins had holidays from school. The whole family made the whole day a whole lot of fun :-)

The aunt, grandmother and grandaunt gave gifts of money (amazing things were bought for zoya with this, uncle and aunt gave pretty dresses. We did a make-up session, dress up (special birthday gift from my parents to satisfy Zoya's princess desires), lots of yum food (Ravi's aunt is one of the few awesome cooks i know), games, chilling out, pizza outside, water-balloon smash hits, balloon popping and playing, lovely cakes (courtesy Ravi's sister) and the list goes on. Ravi's family's enthusiasm ensured a splendid birthday celebration.

Some pictures are here. Others will be uploaded soon as my internet speed is better. Or perhaps its my comp that needs to be upped.

Raghu's doings

2010-04-01T23:08:00.002+05:30

Its Zoya's 4th birthday tomorrow. As i'm way behind on posting here... i thought i'd quickly add some photos from Raghu's paper-ball-meant-be-snowball-fight, 7th birthday party photos and some from our various outdoor sessions. The party was a success. Our homeschool friends and neighbours and some family members joined in our cooperative musical chairs, pin the tail on the caterpillar, snowball war, fancy dress, sword fighting etc.

One of the photos is of Raghu holding his DS and wandering around by himself on the Dune Hotel sand dune. He loved that place so much and kept going between sea, pool, pellet shooting, and finding new spots to play his DS in.

And one is of raghu climbing Ashwini and Karthikeyan's rope ladder.

some pics from recent times

2010-03-31T22:09:00.004+05:30

A Crocheted bag that i made... started under Rachel's tutoring in Sandra's house during the monkey platter festival... and finished in Pune.

Ravi after a lovely morning of Holi festivities.... soaked, colored and in need of a shower.

Raghu balancing on a wall in Auroville. Ravi and Zoya in the pool.

Ashwini, my dear friend who is settled in Auroville with her husband K, and us at the end of a lovely evening on the beach.

Kanha

2010-03-30T14:01:00.003+05:30

We were recently on a 5 day trip to Kanha National Park. We did not spot any tigers (the main attraction) but we did see Spotted Deer, Sambar, Common Grey Langur, a rare sighting of Leopard and Wild Dogs, Bison, Small Owl variety, Chital, Wild Boar, Sambar, Indian jungle fowl, Barasingha, Common Indian kingfisher, lots of termite and ant-hills, egrets, and others.

Our trip was fun and strangely devoid of TV, and hand-helds. How and why.... I knew that the resort did not have any tv sets and they said the only entertainment was the wildlife safaris, a swimming pool, pool table, chess and other games and loads of space to walk around in. Room rates and availability dictated where we stayed. And Ravi's sister's family (2 adults and 2 children) joined us at the resort. And Ravi had been so busy of late that we were all looking forward to spending time with him. Further, the weather was lovely except for the middle of the day.. so the kids hung out outdoors a lot. And a Wildlife-Safari per day kept us busy for a few hours of each day. We were into our 3rd day there when i realised that no one had asked for the DS or anything else. Raghu and Zoya like these 2 girl-cousins a lot. They all played beautifully and had many conversations that i hope to record at some point. On the 5th and last day there, Raghu mentioned that we had not seen tv or played any video games the entire trip... and he seemed surprised. I was not surprised... i have noticed that whenever we have given the kids free access to green, clean areas(devoid of garbage and garbage burning and other horrendous conditions of most streets in the cities here), mild weather, friendly company and outdoor play options... they tend to pursue that a lot more than indoor activities.

I wish they had access to the above listed conditions on a consistent basis... then at least they have a choice. Raghu, while seeing Litte Bear or scenes in Pride and Prejudice (i love the BBC version) of large green spaces with large shady trees etc., will get wistful and look at me. And he knows that i know what he is thinking.
Sometimes he has expressed angrily that we will never be able to enjoy that...and other times he has said "it may happen for us but we'd need to plan a trip and buy tickets and do so much to get to some clean green). The scrubby, rocky landscape around Pune is dusty and dull. It is only green and fresh during and post monsoons. So i know how he feels. We were spoilt by the 4 seasons and abundant green spaces within easy access of urban regions in New Jersey.

There are many natural/outdoor enthusiasts in Pune who take plenty of nature trips etc. However this is not suiting us currently because we'd only be able to go during early mornings or late evenings due to the heat... or its so far from urban areas that we find it hard to make trips just by ourselves. Its complex. So meanwhile ravi and i have budgeted for loads of little trips into greener areas in india.

Having visited Kanha National Park and seeing its pristine wilderness and having some bits of Eustace Conway in my head, I'm seeing only trash everywhere. Its sad how dirty most major cities are. In fact as we exited Kanha we could see garbage slowly creeping into the scenery.

Kanha has been maintained with strict rules... no garbage stays inside the park. There is only one designated eating area. It is pristine and gorgeous. We saw so many different types of evergreens, ghost trees, scrubland, sal trees, bamboo varieties, grassland and many others. It was only after i had spent some time at the park.. that i realised what was missing... garbage! i mean... we have gotten so used to seeing garbage/rotting stuff in so many parks, play areas, cities in general etc... even when we have take rides into villages etc... there are plastic cans/bags/garbage of every sort piled everywhere..... that it was a shock to see pure composting forest floor, lovely giant piles of different types of dry leaves, etc.

I am desperate for us to have regular easy access to simple beauty, countryside, clean large happy places that don't have pollution of any kind. Raghu while lying down in a grassy patch at the Dune hotel (the pondicherry trip) said to me... he'd like to play his DS under the open sky and a shady tree.

The dune and the rock.

2010-02-14T01:27:00.004+05:30

i think India is finally working for us... or maybe its the other way around. We rediscovered india when we went to Pondicherry and Auroville for 5 days recently. We lived at the Dune Eco-village which is between the 2 cities. It was the most awesome, as earthy as we could get with some creature conforts that we still need, yummy get-away we've had. Raghu asked me to tell the manager that the hotel was a infinity star hotel... as he has been exposed to hotel star ratings here in Pune quite a bit.

We loved being able to see stars clearly at night (distinguishing the milky way band clearly), eating the delicious, organic meals from their own farms and bicycling around the property. We walked around the beach and collected some cool crab legs, shells and romped around with the 4 dogs that belong to the owners all over the property.

There is much to be written about this trip. From Raghu using a sling-shot beautifully and winning one at my friend's home to Zoya playing with and herding the dogs around.

but i'm with allergies again and need my rest. So more about this soon.

Wrt life in general: Some serious gratitude goes out to my dear Ravi. He is the backbone to our unschooly way of life. I may be the one who brings home the radical, off-beat, lets try this...it just feels right sort of ideas............ BUT he is the one who gives me the impetus and drive by being a rock, a good listener and being supportive in the extreme.

He has faith in me and my ideas and that gives me a huge boost... every day. He will often say "do it if it makes you happy" and that just puts me in the mood to jive and take on the world. He brings home the moolah and puts in a lot of effort at work .. mostly because he loves his job but also because we both want me at home with the children. We figured this arrangement suited our temperaments. Ravi embraced co-sleeping, nursing on demand, attachment parenting and eventually unschooling. We have turned around 180 degrees from the time we started our relationship on many levels. He comes home and wonders what new thing i'm going to bring up ;-) His "lets try it and see" philosophy works wonders. Anyway... inspired by something i read over at Peacefulpartnerships today... i decided i had to write down all that i loved about Ravi. I could go one some more but that would have to be a whole post in its own right.

good night and peaceful dreams to all.

Raghu Reading

2010-01-31T00:03:00.003+05:30

I was getting comments from all around about how amazing it is that Raghu can read without going to school. I've also heard several people tout books over tv and are horrified to hear of how much tv we watch... in our case tv is usually dvds that the kids select. I've also been told that i've got the patience of a saint otherwise unschooling/homeschooling would not work out. Off late i hear so many such funky comments that all i can say is please order this book and read it back to back. It will help those who are trying to understand our non-mainstream path. It will help them see things a bit more clearly and not draw the wrong conclusions.

http://sandradodd.com/bigbook/

I wish i could offer one copy to everyone who said anything like one of the above comments to me. Please read this book. It is in easy, chewable portions that demystifies unschooling and gives you room for radical thoughts.

Raghu reads because he wants too. Raghu does not write... because he does not want to, yet. Simple.

He and i figured out that if he really wanted to write notes in a precise way then we could use a stencil. Simple.
Or when we get our comps in order and have that printer set up... he might type and print it out.

The magic is that Raghu wanted to read, so he pursued it and figured it out. Yes I helped... I read to him when he wanted and did not shame him if he could not read something supposedly simple. In a way i almost wish he had not cracked the code... cause now everyone expects the same from Zoya. "so cool... unschooling gets kids to read on their own!"

Our new soups

2010-01-18T21:48:00.005+05:30

Inspired by my often-soup-drinking-neighbors who live downstairs i put together this soup for my cold ridden self and my soup loving son:
boil or pressure cook 1 potato, 1 carrot, 1 tomato, 1 squash (i used Indian lauvki) and an onion (all chopped up) until soft.

then puree it with a blender. And store in the fridge for making different soups based on each family member's taste. So Raghu asked for this:
heat some olive oil and butter. Add finely chopped onion and mushroom. Add mashed garlic. Sauté until tender. Then add the soup. Add sea salt, pepper, dry or fresh rosemary, lemon and ground pepper. It was delicious.

I made mine with some green chillies, ginger, cumin, salt and lemon juice. garnish with finely chopped coriander. Yum.

One soup... many ways. Cool :-)

My other new soup that i loved is:
Boil or pressure cook 1 potato, 1 tomato, 1 apple and one onion (all chopped up) until soft. Puree it, then add lemon juice, salt, pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger powder per taste. Again a yum soup with the slight sweetness of the apple coming through.

Some links, musings and photo moments

2010-01-18T20:31:00.008+05:30

For folks here in India: please check out this new way to get ready access to the happenings in Pune. I've found a unique little place here in Aundh that is offering mom-child-dance sessions. and turns out for a change they are not into conventional teaching and asking the kids to imitate the teacher. Yahoo! I'll post back if i like the class. The site is www.taarago.com

Also http://www.lifeawayfromlife.com/ is a cool site for those of us who want adventure. I'm having quite too many all the time ;-)

And the one link I've not explored but heard good things about is: http://rainbowarttherapy.com

I'm feeling better about the months ahead. Urmila, the only other Pune unschooler, has opened a open-space in an apartment she owns. It has a room for meditation/conversation, a room for art, a room for videos/cinema and a room for internet based stuff. She has made it a lovely spacious place that will host workshops, yoga etc and act as a hang out venue for those inclined. I can't wait to be more involved with this.

I have been longing to meditate and often contemplate how i can get my kids involved with others so i can get away. BUT recently I've begun meditating in a way that only mothers can. I breathe deeply when I'm about to explode. I still end up exploding sometimes... mostly with my almost 4 year old who is 22 kilos, almost Raghu's height and is very active.... my measly 5'2", out-of-shape frame is no match. Besides at about 3, not quite 4 she is ready for many new challenges but needs me to be around working out kinks, engaging her while we are in situations that she does not like etc.. It is with her that i get most opportunities to relax and meditate. I call it meditation if I'm able to sit and just be. It energizes me like nothing else. Its usually the 10 minutes when Zoya is intensely busy and I'm able to sit quietly and watch.

here is a pic of what Raghu did to the humanoid he built. he has been adding things on a daily basis.
Raghu took the picture himself.

Sandra recommended the Barbie-Princess and the Pauper DVD when we found it at a thrift store that she took me to. Zoya had been enjoying Holly's under-the-stairs-barbie and other dolls-neighbourhood throughout our stay. So i bought the DVD and sure enough its one of Zoya's favourite videos and she even listens to just the songs. Then recently due to the amount of physical play i've seen her engage in i decided to pick up one more DVD: "Barbie and the 3 musketeers" Again an instant hit with her. She often plays out scenes with Raghu. She will say "I'm going to be a Musketeer. Can I amma?" Now the other day... Ravi caught this on film... it was such a lovely moment. Zoya was completely into the act :-) She has a dupatta for a cape, our foam swords that i'm constantly fixing up with tape and is sitting on the lion that became a horse.

Brand new additions

2010-01-13T08:40:00.007+05:30

Its just been a week since we got back from Bangalore. In this week my family went from having 2 girls and 1 boy to 3 girls and 2 boys :-) So happy. Both of my sisters have had their babies 5 days apart.

In this one week we have had several things happen. Raghu has been playing lots of computer based games with his friend downstairs. We live in a squat building, within a lovely green oasis, that has 2 duplexes. Our neighbors downstairs have been wonderful to interact with. Their older daughter, A, comes over for art-classes... she established the classes all by herself! And her younger brother, I, is around 8 and hangs out with raghu quite a bit.

Last evening A came over and said she'd like to cook. The kids pop into each other's houses all the time and both I and A are polite, easy too be with kids. So mine like having them around... yay! So A was willing to cut up veggies for our dinner and stir fry them. But Zoya was in the kitchen at the same time. We have a little cupboard in the kitchen which has some small bottles of ingredients that are found things, or just spices that have expired or not in use etc. I save these things and more... cause Zoya loves to cook with them. She does not care for edibility. But Raghu does... so he tends to cook with edible stuff. Anyway back to my story.... A and Z were in the kitchen together....

Raghu too entered the scene and started to crack an egg.... then A told him he could make a cake with that egg. Raghu had started with an experiment in mind but he got inspired. So we proceeded to add cocoa powder, sugar, a pinch of salt, flour, pinch of baking powder and milk to that cracked egg. A took the molds with batter to her house to bake downstairs as our oven has shorted out.

A while later the cakes came out and were an interesting firm, pudding texture consistency. As Raghu enjoyed his cake, he said "we are lucky to have them for neighbors" It made me smile. Its been a while since a comment like that about new friends in India. We are very lucky indeed.

You see not only do them come over and hang out, watch videos with us, take walks with us, play board games, converse about this and that etc... but they also have a mom who gives them the freedom to spend their time away from school in a pretty relaxed fashion. So I plays video games and he is only on a clock in terms of homework/some classes and meal/bed times. raghu has adjusted to I's clock and will wait for the clock to strike 4 so he can go knock on their door.

bathtub tea party

2010-01-03T09:11:00.002+05:30

We are still in Bangalore at my mom's place. Maya (my 4 year old niece) and Zoya were in the bathtub having a long soak with their toys. I had gone around the house looking for things that might interests them while playing in the tub. They are both very fond of the pool downstairs but being wintertime here the water is too cold for me and so i've been unable to take them swimming. The girls don't care about the cold water... but due to the size of the pool i can't send them in alone. Anyway due to this long tub baths have been happening every day.

I was eating some dry apricots, the kinds with smooth skin pits. I kept giving them all the pits and they used that and some oatmeal powder to create soup and tea and snacks. It was lovely to hear their conversations and catch this moment.

when it rains it pours....

2010-01-03T08:40:00.007+05:30

Zoya is Ravi's ardent fan... she will dream about him and wake up in the night and ask if Nana is still at work and when he will be home. During these 3 weeks that we've been in Bangalore, she has missed him but has not been upset because of Maya's presence. So when Ravi visited Bangalore for a few days at christmas she mostly stayed close to him. So i think this photo is testimony... to King Nana and his princess.

i do believe that if it had not been for my mom and dad's insistence we would never have made it to the studio to capture this rare gathering of our family. Both sisters are pregnant and due in the next few weeks. Doubly special.

Pictures of the lovely Christmas tree and the Gingerbread Train that we all decorated. Sushma, my sister, bought most of the decorations and we made a star at home with some foil and mom added some decorations she bought while still living in Abu Dhabi. Raghu had wanted a Christmas tree and gingerbread ... so we planned for it during our US trip. The girls loved decorating the train... and ate bits of icing and candy while doing it. Mom added white, puffed rice to the ground... looks like hail-stones... but gives the general effect :-)

"Doof" as he is affectionately called by Maya and Zoya is my younger sister's husband. Zoya loves hanging out with Nikhil... usually on him :-)

Happy Unschoolers

2010-01-03T07:59:00.008+05:30

Over the last several weeks we've been doing a lot but i have not had time to write about it. So here are some quick snapshots.

Some leaf rubbings that we did in my sister's garden. Raghu enjoyed watching and then proceeded to pluck leaves and made a collage of them for me to rub on.

Maya (my 4 year old niece) and Zoya pose with Muffin, Maya's dog. Zoya has been really wanting a dog and i'm grateful that she gets to meet one almost every where we go. She calls Muffin "another Gudran". For those who missed this... Gudran is Sandra's dog and Zoya misses him.

Thps is of my Dad with the girls in his pooja room. Its the only altar at home and the kids love to play there. Its a smallish off-set room. there are matchsticks and incense sticks... both very appealing to all 3 kids. Raghu has started to light a candle with a matchstick all by himself and then start the incense stick with the flame.

Mom is posing with Raghu and the dish that i now christen "made for Raghu" Raghu had been wanting Hummus and rosemary and stir fry veggies. I was busy making appetizer roll ups with some of those ingredients... for sisters, parents, brothers-in-law etc. And raghu sort of liked them but not quite. I did nto notice that mom and he were cooking this up on the side. After a while they emerged with this dish. Mom had arranged ina dish.... fried potatoes with rosemary and oregano infused olive oil dressing, hummous, grilled veggies (my mom made her sandwich grill into a proper grill that night... she is so inventive), and some pomegranate seeds as garnish. Raghu loved it and agreed to pose before consuming most of it.

This happened a few weeks ago... Ravi had taken Zoya out to the local bakery for some chocolate cake slices. They had none. They only had whole cakes available. So Ravi and Zoya got the cake home and surprised Raghu and me with it. They lit candles and enjoyed the little impromptu cake party. The icing read "Happy Unschooling". Ravi enjoyed this a lot i think...even more than Zoya cause he rarely gets to do some creative surprising at home.

Introducing RUN

2010-01-02T09:03:00.005+05:30

If you are an unschooler (or understand the principles and plan to unschool your not-yet-school-age children) and are of Indian origin/Indian or live in India then please join me here:

http://familyrun.ning.com/group/indiaunschoolers

The reason i started this group at RUN is that its a great place to connect with unschoolers across the globe. I have a great desire to connect with Indians who unschool. If this is something you are interested in then please join up at RUN. This will act like a yahoo group but will allow you greater flexibility.

Fyi: You can join RUN without joining this group here: http://familyrun.ning.com
I like this forum a lot because i get to see a whole lot of unschoolers in one place. And the conversations include a whole range of unschoolers... from folks who have grown unschooled children to those starting out.

Humanoid

2010-01-01T08:32:00.008+05:30

It took Raghu and me most of 4 hours with interruptions to finish the Lego Mindstorm Humanoid. We made it and tested it with some basic programming and it worked! I was surprised to hear that it had been on the market for over 10 years and i only heard about it when Raghu started to express an interest in Robots.

If I'd known about Mindstorm i think I'd have bought it for myself to work with. I had many embedded notions about what was an appropriate purchase/expense at age 25... i believe Ravi and I went to the Finger Lakes Region that year and I was still drawing plein air a lot. Anyway my children allow me so many experiences that I otherwise would have ignored.

There were several moments when i got frustrated with the cd based manual and had to demolish bits and rebuild the Humanoid... and a part of me blamed Raghu for slowing me down and for building some parts wrong... eventually these parts were not fitting in with the whole. So anyway... I had to stop and breathe and remind myself that i was building it for Raghu and if it took 5 hours then i should relax into it. Raghu mostly wanted "me" to build the humanoid. While building it he would take big breaks and watch DVDs or walk around. He helped with fallen bits and was very supportive ;-)

A part of me was frustrated because I felt that he should build it with me since he wanted the robot. But a part of me was aware that he really wanted a robot and i could not give him access to one... so this was the easiest way to make it possible. And he was struggling with the patience this manual required. It was way more complex than most Lego sets Raghu has built. So I built it, mostly, and was super happy to see how much he enjoyed the finished piece.

Zoya and Maya

2009-12-30T16:05:00.003+05:30

Zoya is very busy these days playing with her cousin, Maya. Maya is 4 and goes to school here in Bangalore. But she has been on Christmas vacation since we came to Bangalore a few weeks ago. It has been amazing watching Zoya interact with Maya.

They enjoy making up games, take long walks around the house and find things to collect in plastic bags, have super long baths together in the tub, watch winnie the pooh DVDs, create art with paint, sand-play downstairs in the play area and they even take breaks from each other... i'll find them both reading/playing by themseleves from time to time. Its such a joy to see the 2 of them play in this relaxed way. They rarely have any issues... mostly they just want to do what the other is doing. So i make sure we have 2 of everything. They eat at the same time and will coordinate their clothing as well.

Maya's mom, Sushma, is my younger sister. She is pregnant and due in a few weeks. Maya has gotten to the point where she stays over night at my parents home (Sushma's home and my parents home is only 20 minutes apart by car) without her parents.

Zoya and Maya are watching songs from Swades and drawing with pencils in the front room. They pretend-play a lot and can collaborate and create games out of thin air. They just need some happy facilitators around.

This one is for Ashwin

2009-12-21T09:44:00.003+05:30

We, Raghu, Zoya and me, were traveling with my sister-in-law, Anagha, and her 2 boys, Ashwin and Shreyas to a rock-climbing place in NJ. We were listening to a Costco-bought Little People- Alphabet- cd from FisherPrice. One of the songs is "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee. Won't my mommy be so proud of me."

Ashwin chimed in with a version he had heard from some girls while riding the school bus... "I'm bringing home a baby dinosaur. I hope my mommy kicks me out the door." It was silly and we all laughed. My 2 kept singing that new version for days.

Fast forward to yesterday... i had not realised how much Zoya had figured out by that one re-wording of a song. She now refuses to sing the song in the original... and wants to re-word every song and add a dinosaur or some new word... then she laughs like crazy. Its been hilarious. I think until Ashwin sang that song it had not occurred to Zoya that lyrics could be changed.... although Raghu is known to change lyrics too, just like his dad :-) I think the 'mommy kicking me out the door' bit was the part Zoya connected with!

The Raghu-Weasley Star Awards

2009-12-16T19:20:00.004+05:30

Raghu and I have been watching a lot of Harry Potter movies. My dream right now is to be able to sit up all night and watch all the movies back to back. Of course its a lot more fun when my little sis (the one who is expecting her first child in a couple of weeks) chimes in with little tidbits of info that allow me to comprehend the details in the story better. And she tends to be asleep for most of the day and night these days.

Anyway, today while watching the Chamber of Secrets, Raghu and I both commented at the same time how much we love the Weasley Home and its atmosphere. If you don't remember their house... see the early part of this movie before the kids depart for Hogworts. Its when Harry sees the house for the first time and calls it Brilliant.
Comfy, earthy, crumbs can find hiding spots, lots of interesting things to look at, warm and cosy etc... were some of the observations. Then Raghu said "its just like Sandra's house". There is a comfort to having a home that feels lived-in and cosy and has interesting nooks everywhere. So Sandra... if you are reading here.... Raghu says to award your home the Raghu-Weasley Star for "most interesting home" :-)

Language funnies

2009-12-15T10:43:00.003+05:30

Zoya has been saying "he" when referring to females. And we've not been able to shake it.... Raghu especially gets exasperated... we think its cute.. but he thinks she needs to know better by now. Anyway... while sitting in the car on our way to a restaurant Zoya referred to her 4 year old cousin, Maya, who was sitting next to her, as 'he'. Maya very nicely told Zoya that she should say 'she' because she is a girl.

Zoya said "I cannot say that because 'she' is only in the bathroom" This flummoxed me for a second and then I burst into laughter. In Kannada a word that sounds the same as "she" means 'poop' :-)

So Zoya was being very thoughtful and politically correct for a child exposed to multiple languages and who does not get the difference in languages yet. She can't identify which language we are speaking in... she uses all the words she knows as one big language. We speak Hindi, Kannada and English.. and we switch languages almost every other sentence.

Connecting

2009-12-10T08:50:00.004+05:30

This morning i realised that we all slept by 10 and woke up around 6. Not bad after many nights and afternoons of jetlag induced naps.

Raghu asked me to open a packet of salted peanuts which led to him requesting some salted, roasted cashews and then he started to say something about airplanes (which is where the salted peanut packet came from).. which then led to this question: "amma, which is heavier... metal or aluminium?" I replied that metal is like fish... a group word... so aluminum, iron, steel etc are metals... i was unable to remember more metals and he added tin and steel. then he said tin is lighter than iron... and that he got that observation from Iron Man... which led to a discussion of the suit the guy built for himself in the movie etc.

This entire conversation must have lasted about 10 minutes. It was so satisfying and amusing and interesting to see the connections, path of conversation topics etc. This morning i'm able to write it out... but these conversations happen often and by the time i get to write at the comp... i've forgotten the exact thread/topics adn connections.

The night again...

2009-12-06T03:43:00.003+05:30

Its 3am and Raghu, Ravi and i are listening to the Doors and working on our DS or computers. I watched Raghu play Prince of Persia and am now watching him be Lara Croft. Raghu bought me tissues and ravi got me hot water in my Dunkin Donuts travel mug... i'm still battling the virus.

I have only just managed to write down the first recipe from our Monkey Platter Festival cook-indian day.

Ravi and i just noticed that daybreak is imminent. Its 6 am and Raghu's long-standing wish has come true 2 nights in a row..."staying up all night" :-)
So we asked Raghu if he'd like to go to our terrace and see the sun rise. He lifted his head from his DS play and looked out the window quickly and asked: "Is it on"?
LOL

I've managed to do a lot of comp stuff in the past 2 hours... thanks to ravi's company and music choices... we went on to listen the Cars, Bangles, Silsila, Yuva and are now listening to Rock On.... a raghu selection.

N i g h t ... what a lovely word

2009-12-05T01:14:00.007+05:30

I'm typing out "night" and looking at it anew. Its a beautiful word.
I've been reading "Writing down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg and her book has my head swimming with her images of Taos, words in general sound heightened and am feeling oneness with the world. Um... maybe some of it also has to do with the chocolate diet i've been on these past few days. I've rediscovered Maltesers during our recent long layover at Heathrow airport.

I love "Singing in the Rain"... a simple story line... but boy do i wish i could dance like those 3! Its an awesome movie in my books. I love the songs and tap-dancing.. is it? I gotta look it up. I just finished watching it while Raghu played Blues Clues for dollar stock up... its a game where there are multiple ways to earn money and eventually use your dollars to buy some stuff at the gift-shop.

Raghu slept straight out from 3pm till 11 pm today... he woke up refreshed and wondering whether it was morning... LOL. We tried to break up the jet-lag mode but i guess his body is still adjusting. So Raghu and I are still awake. I'm glad i had a nap this afternoon! Night time is definitely interesting. We can hear the dogs barking away in the distance and some crows are still caw-ing. I served Raghu a large Uttappa with browned onion slices, mushrooms and paneer. He had asked for chips... i said sure.... then i offered to cook something for him in case i get too sleepy to do that later... and he said yes and described what he wanted.

I'm still down with a sore throat and cold. Kids are still down with remnants of coughs. So i'm putting off my recipe posts for the monkey platter festival folks and other trip related posts. I promise to do it soon.

Raghu and Zoya counted out some coins and were dividing them up today. I was not able to hear their conversations but Raghu mentioned that they wanted to earn some money and that it was very hard to do that. So I offered to pay them 10 rupees each for a few small chores around the house. They each worked hard at unpacking with me adn putting things away etc for about 20 minutes! It was interesting that they wanted to earn money. So they both earned 10 rupees each and were very happy. I guess those video games inspire all sorts of things.

Food, Fun, Frolic, Fast cars, Fresh air, Friendly times with friends and cousins, Free spaces to play etc

2009-11-20T10:21:00.005+05:30

That title pretty much describes what we've been enjoying for the past few weeks.
Outside of the Unschooling festival in ABQ and the couple of days in Santa Fe......... We've hung out and lived with cousins and friends here in NJ. Raghu has tasted his fill of Dunkin Donuts... he looks starved when he speaks of Dunkin Donuts and then eats only one usually... and then gets a repeat craving in a couple of days. He has been enjoying some of the store-bought-hummous varieties and has been devouring Mozzarella, grilled chicken, mexican food, lots of cinnamonny things etc. Zoya has been on a steady run of M&Ms, Dark Chocolate, Wheat toast with butter, her usual milk-drink, small seedless oranges, grapes, tons of snap peas, rice and chapatis and bananas.

We've driven around thanks to the car i got from Ravi's cousin, who is in CA for the week for work. Today kids and i did shopping... silly things... ginger bread house kit, light sabers, DS kits, princess doll for Z and a kit with Disney music, ziplock bags, little gifts for folks back home, vanilla flavoured coffee for my sister, little toys for my 4 year old niece, and other things. Fabulous rainy day... so we spent it indoors and had a lovely day. Z got a hot-oink balloon, Raghu got lego kits and finally at the end when we all were beginning to get snappy... some lovely soup and chicken at home with the nephews and cousins.

Raghu has been figuring out things in a different way lately. And so have I. Seems to me i'm goign to do the best i can for us all in India... but sooner or later moving back here is what i think will happen.

A dear friend took us in for 2 days and gave us a lovely time. She made sour dough bread and soups and packed picnic lunches and took us to beautiful parks that she and her son and me and Raghu used to go to back when we lived here... and the kids were very young. It was a fab trip down memory lane for us and the kids enjoyed their time at playgrounds and in the new house too.

My cousins have been treating us to a lovely time. Helping us plan things, generous in sharing their home as home-base, their car too etc. The nephews and R and Z have been enjoying some Wii and other gaming stuff.

Raghu and Zoya have been to many playgrounds now and have been displaying cool skills.... i miss this in India. In India you need to be in school if you are young and want play-areas and open-space options.

more soon. please chk out Sandra's photo add-ons at: http://monkeyplatterfestival.blogspot.com/

Monkey Platter Festival Awesomeness

2009-11-15T08:40:00.007+05:30

From Santa Fe, where we are visiting for a couple of days:

The Monkey Platter Festival, Albuquerque, ended on Thursday. We will be back at Sandra's home for some Rangoli and a few more activities tomorrow and then flyout to NJ on MOnday.

We are all so wired during the day and then so tired at night... hence no blog posts by me yet. But a ton will come poring out the second i get back to NJ... i hope. Meanwhile Sandra has updated the Monkey Platter Festival blog with TONS and TONS of photos. Please check it out here: http://monkeyplatterfestival.blogspot.com/

This has been the most awesome experience ever. Raghu and Zoya love Sandra's home. Sandra has made us so comfortable, has given so freely of her time. Her husband, Keith and her children, Marty and Holly have been sweet, generous with their things, time and home. They have all been such wonderful hosts. Our trip has given me a better perspective on unschooling, an unschooling home, the nature of things to come as our kids grow etc.

Some of the folks we got to meet besides Sandra and her family (minus her oldest Kirby... working in Austin) are Bethany and Ethan, Rachel, Zane, Caleb, Greta and Carmen, Beth and Emma, John, Robyn, Saja (pronounced Seyjaa) and Cade, Susan and Dan, Theresa, Sylvia and her boys... sorry did not get to meet them, Lee Stranahan and family, and a few more... i will post a full list and the chidlren's ages too soon.
More to come. Meanwhile enjoy the pics....

Some pics finally

2009-10-26T21:13:00.003+05:30

This last photo is of Ravi and the kids sleeping at 6 in the evening (their bodies are still on India time which would be 11ish). Then they woke up had lovely pita pocket dinners (filled with grilled Haloumi cheese, Homous and Salad) created by Chef Rishi and promptly went back to bed. We have all been waking up at 5 am.

Because our health has improved we decided to move into the hotel in London this evening. Ravi is at work today and will meet us at the hotel. This morning the kids and I had a lovely 2 hour walk around the local Headington streets. We visited a playground attached to a park that was divine. I mean it was glorious, crystal clear air, clean, full of autumn leaves, had old but sturdy playground equipment.... just wonderful. Kids were off and running and had a good time. We got snacks from a Waitrose (a supermarket chain) that sells ready, easy to eat foods... lots of yum soups etc.

We still have coughs but the sunshine and clear air was nice after being cooped up inside hospitals, airports, planes and homes for the last few days.

Update on health and festival

2009-10-26T00:45:00.002+05:30

We are better... still with colds and coughs... but Z, the one who was sickest, is better and eating and sleeping without coughing! At present we'll be lucky to make it into London at all this week. Ventured out with the family though today to pick up sock-slippers, heavy-duty lip-balm tubes and a non-hairy-doll (no soft toys for Z for a while if it can be helped said the Doc... so we thought a new doll might distract her) at the Cormarket Street here in Oxford. Made it a snappy, happy trip. Dh and Dd are still in siesta mode. We seem to be getting better as a family today :-) Yahooooooo

Here is a link to another page on Sandra's site that gives a break down of the 3 days festival: http://sandradodd.com/festival/

We made it to London!

2009-10-25T00:48:00.003+05:30

We are all sick and down enough that packing involved throwing everything i thought we'd need into a few suitcases. Zoya was sick enough that to the last half hour before our 2 am flight... we did not know if we'd decide to get on board. She has a racking cough that has left her exhausted and very low on energy. She is now beginning to recoup.... we hope and think so. We start planning our week tomorrow after confirming that another trip to the Doc is not required.

Excited to have started the trip but worried that we are all in varying stages of illness. We are currently with Ravi's cousin, Priya, and her husband, Rishi, in their lovely little apartment in Headington, Oxford. Love seeing fall colors after so long. Raghu went and got a real mozzarella sandwich right away. Priya had read my blog this week and went and got feta, tomatoes etc in case Raghu was still in the mood. And Rishi brought cinnamon toast crunch, Raghu's fave cereal, and oranges and strawberries for Zoya. We have settled in and created a center piece with our giant collection of supplements and medicines on their coffee table. Just had a lovely dinner... a fab chicken dish created by Rishi. We are full of good food, enjoyed warm baths, time and stress-free space to relax, and are trying to get our energy back up.

Going to bed now and cuddling up with kids. Focusing on health and joy for tomorrow.

Surprise, Nana!

2009-10-21T02:37:00.004+05:30

In the midst of a crazy evening... while caring for Zoya's ear-infection, packing, making lists and getting the kids dinner.... I decided to make myself a chopped tomato, ground pepper and feta cheese salad and pour myself a glass of red wine. I needed to sit and chill. So i did.

A while later when Z was napping (its night but she is in nap mode) Ravi came home from work looking tired. Raghu who until this point had been playing his DS for several hours jumped up and said he was making a surprise for Nana (Ravi). So Ravi went and changed and came back down and closed his eyes.

Raghu, with no help from me, had chopped a tomato, ground some pepper over the pieces and had crumbled feta into the mix. He then found the wine and poured Ravi a glass. He asked me to re-cork it. Ravi was, needless to say, thrilled and enjoyed the snack. He wanted me to write about it on the blog. So here it is.

My rough evening became smooth and I could see beyond the chaos. And I think Ravi felt less tired instantly :-)

Traveling and Festival

2009-10-20T12:30:00.004+05:30

Ravi, kids and I are all off this Friday on our 5 week holiday (holiday for kids and me, mostly work for Ravi) to London and then NYC. We are so excited. Raghu and I want to eat freshly baked bagels soon as we can. Raghu wants to taste scones and have high tea. He thinks 'kippers' is a good name for a breakfast item. I've never tasted them... but he look geared to taste all kinds of new foods.

Please see here for the latest news on the Monkey Platter Festival. http://monkeyplatterfestival.blogspot.com/ Sandra plans on some sword-slashing-of-gallon-bottles filled with water besides talks, museum fun, cooking-demos etc!! We are so looking forward to this! We will also be meeting friends adn family who live in NJ/NYC after almost 2.5 years.

We had a lovely Diwali family gathering in Indore at Ravi's sister's home. Diwali here in India is lots of firecrackers, food, firecrackers, food.... you get the picture. Lots of presents exchanged. Raghu and cousins had gun fights, DS-multi-play and did lots of Rangoli designs. More on all this when i get around to loading photos from the road.

What a life :-)

2009-10-07T12:09:00.002+05:30

Love this life.... would like to talk till I'm blue about the beauty of living in the moment and connecting so deeply with ourselves. We are back online after almost 2 weeks. This new house we were busy moving into.... is awesome. the space, light, hummingbirds outside and several mongoose and trees, flowers etc just make the whole place so worth the effort of moving.

Raghu and Zoya loved the house, our new front-room swing and the staircase so much that they pretty much stayed home until a day or so ago. Raghu has found a DS enthusiast downstairs who may become a friend. Zoya has yet to find someone she likes... but in the meantime she has begun to play with Raghu a lot more.

We are looking forward to our trip to the US... and a short one for Diwali to Indore.
Raghu has been counting down and Zoya keeps telling me we need to get to the airport or we'll miss the flight.

Moving!

2009-09-14T13:50:00.003+05:30

We are moving into another apartment... meets some more needs.... and most importantly has an upstairs adn downstairs... a duplex. Raghu has been waiting for this a long time. He misses our home in the US where he stayed till he was 4 and still remembers vividly.

So not sure how connected we'll be and when our comps and other stuff will be up and easy to use. So i'm off to plan the move now. We have started clearing out junk and the various things that need to be given away. Its lovely to do a clean out.. allows old things to breathe again. Kids are being quite open to assessing which toys are truly broken and worthy of beign fixed or given away... and which clothes they still want to keep and which can be given away. Raghu is still holding onto a night-pajama that he has been wearing since he was 3!! Its soft, well-worn and is very comforting to him. I plan on keeping it in my memorabilia-box long after he looses interest in it.

My mom sweetly kept many things... books of mine, toys clothes etc... from my childhood... but she gave away my bear.... which i still feel very sad about. I had hoped i could add it to my children's soft toy collection. But still due to her ability to move house and still carry around a large box of childhood items... i felt thrilled when she passed on things to my children and my niece. Its fun to share stories about the things with the kids. My old Saucy-Jane book about a family's life in a house-boat and how i always wanted to live in one as a child etc... made it a very special book to Raghu... he dreams of living in an RV.

2009-09-13T00:19:00.002+05:30

Someone sent this to an online group I'm part of and i loved it. So I've put it here to remind me of how i like to be around my children. I don't like the note of regret that seeps thru the poem due to the title and structure of the sentences... but the points made are lovely and help me as i unschool myself. Maybe I'll re-write this poem in a positive... "i'm doing this now" way.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.
I'd fingerpaint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

Food for thought

2009-09-11T21:24:00.004+05:30

I've been meaning to write about food and what it means to us these days. Its such an important part of my children's days and can cause them much happiness.

Raghu asked me to make this soup yesterday... i only added a tiny amount of molasses and some coriander-seed-powder besides his choices.

1. Cooked potato cubes (and the water they were cooked in)
2. Chopped onion
3. Chopped mushroom
4. Corn kernals.. fresh.
5. Diced green Bell Pepper/Capsicum
6. Grated fresh ginger
7. Pepper and salt to taste
8. tiny hint of molasses
9. pinch of coriander powder
10. Crushed Rosemary

Add water to make it as soupy as you want.
Stir fry the onions in a bit of olive oil till translucent, add the bell peppers and stir fry for a few minutes. Then add the mushroom and corn and ginger. Cook till the veggies are tender. Add the potato cubes and broth and all other ingredients.

I love trying out Raghu's recipes. He is not into cooking himself these days. But will come up with specific recipes and usually eats happily whatever he makes. Food eaten joyously is probably good for us :-)

Raghu and Zoya come up with wacko combinations. Raghu has had mustard and jam on bread and Zoya loves dipping chicken nuggets, fries etc in soy sauce. Raghu loves Sweet potato fries and will eat any roasted vegetable. He prefers things cooked. Very rarely will he eat raw veggies. But he will suck happily on raw garlic cloves and even eat them. he also sucks on Cinnamon sticks. Zoya is known to mix ketchup in her yogurt and rice. Yogurt and rice is a favorite around here. But only when its icecream weather.

Making new foods or old... but making them just so takes up a lot of time some days. Other days its easy. The main thing is to be able to get as close to what we each want as possible. Sometimes its perfect... sometimes a bit tweaked.

We don't get sour cream here and raghu loves the stuff... so he uses a lot of Mayo which we do get.

Zoya can go thru tons of chocolate in a day... dark crisp cocoa variety and also brownies and home-made choc cake. She loves icecream and prefers it to any other sweet.

THe odd choices for odd times are only part of my conditioning. My kids are healthy, aware of their body-needs, quite in tune with which foods suit them and are very clear in their food-requests. Its awesome to watch it and see how much they enjoy food.

Today is 09.09.09

2009-09-09T10:12:00.011+05:30

Ravi landed in the US for work on 09.09.90, 19 years ago. He stayed there till 2007 when we moved to Singapore and then here to India a year ago. He worked there for almost 17 years. Ravi and i were just enjoying the rare number combinations.

Raghu and Zoya created a Bed-Cushion-Sleep-Game. We rolled in all our cushions on the floor this morning. The 2 have been inventing games... mostly raghu invents and zoya adjusts things to suit her tastes... like blankets and dollies must be part of the said game. Raghu has been hooked on his DS... which got a whole bunch of new games loaded thanks to an adult-gaming-friend we've met recently. Raghu is in gaming-nirvana.

We are getting ready for our trip to the US. Amazing that it is really happening. Ravi has been incredible at making this trip happen. He has been wanting to go back to NJ/NYC with us... for a trip at the very least. So we leave end of October and get back end of November. All in all about 5 weeks. We will get to spend the first 6 days in London as he has work there as well. Our US trip will include a week in the Albuquerque and Santa Fe region. Since we could not time our trip to match any of the unschooling conferences that happen thru the year across the US.... Sandra Dodd (http://sandradodd.com/) very kindly offered to plan a conference for when we are there. Her generous offer means we get to spend time with her and other families and watch unschoolers in action. Can't wait :-)

Raghu is very thrilled about the upcoming travels. He has been reading about castles, Robin Hood and talking about Harry Potter and related stuff. He knows Roald Dahl was British and we've been talking about visiting a castle with a real moat and seeing a portcullis in action. Interestingly its not like i said "we're going to London.. lets read things that relate to it"... nope. He has been connecting the dots and telling me about all the books he borrows from the library or hte ones he likes at home and how they have roots or are based in London. Even Asterix and Obelix speak of Londinium :-)

I'm looking forward to the US part of the trip so i can spend time in familiar places with family and friends, enjoy playgrounds and museums and such, eat lots of old familiar foods, walk the streets of NYC again, and very importantly... meet and interact with Unschooling parents and children. Something that we as a family are sorely missing out on here in India.

Zoya is talking in bigger more complicated sentences and is engaging Raghu in conversation more often these days. The age gap is reducing. Till now she was only a physical playmate... someone Raghu could run with and catch or jump with. But she is changing rapidly. She is 3 inches short of Raghu's height and is wearing shoes that are one size behind. Raghu says she is the biggest 3 year old he ever saw :-) She cracks jokes and will look at us with delight when we get her jokes.

some more stream pics

2009-08-27T13:23:00.000+05:30

2009-08-27T11:03:00.002+05:30

Video of the kids observing a butterfly they trapped in their net. They did this several times with different colored butterflies we found at the farm and then let them go.

some pics with the NJ cousins

2009-08-27T10:54:00.003+05:30

At the rustic farm.... Raghu and the kids loved the Trampoline... it was in an open-sided veranda. We caught several tadpoles and little fish in our handy net and touched and enjoyed slipping them back into a little stream on the same property. The Tree house was named after Robinson Crusoe and was built about 15 years ago. We were still dealing with the heat and mosquitoes and hence did not stay in the tree-house area for too long. The stream was the favourite hang-out. While hanging out at the cottage Raghu discovered the pleasures of Dumb-charades, also called "give us a clue". He repeatedly performed Ben 10 Secret of the Omnitrix and several other movies for us to guess. The game was a hit with the cousins... both played out several difficult titles and many other quickies. We spent over 2 hours with this game. It was quite rustic given that there was no electricity the first evening... only came back late night. But we all had fun.

A new experience for Raghu

2009-08-27T10:03:00.005+05:30

Raghu took the morning flight to Bangalore today with his older cousins and Mami who have come to visit India from New Jersey. It was an ideal opportunity for Raghu to experience travel with family he loves and be with my parents and sisters in Bangalore. So when we asked him if he would like to go... he said yes! He was clear that if he needed us suddenly it would be hard for us to come right away... but if the need was urgent we'd come. After more than a year here in India he now seemed ready for this big step of a 3 day sleep-over... which is what it essentially is.
He will return with them on Sunday evening. He was so excited but also calm and self-assured.

Besides my parents who he is very comfortable with, I sense that his deep connection with my youngest sister (who lived with us from the time Raghu was born till he was about 3) is also the one reason he is so willing to go to Bangalore without Ravi and me around. And its a short trip and its air travel (which he loves) with his 8 and 10 year old boy-cousins who he loves interacting with. All in all a winner of a trip.

His cousins and Mami (my cousin's wife and my very dear friend) have been with us a few days. We enjoyed their company and Raghu got to play DS with them... like a multi-play thing. Raghu loved trying out their DS cartridges. They all bicycled and scootered around our complex and also experienced some rustic living near by at a farm. Its been wonderful to see these nephews after almost 2 years. We lived 15 minutes away from them in NJ and have been close to them from the time they were born. So a deep connection for all of us.

So Zoya, who is upset that she could not go, and I are going to focus entirely on each other today... or atleast i'm going to focus on her totally and see what special things we can do for the next 3 days. We've boiled some eggs and have painted them and used tons of glitter glue to decorate. We'll see how the morning unfolds.

I'm very excited for Raghu but miss him already.

My new word for the day

2009-08-21T08:42:00.003+05:30

I sometimes will look up words on Wiki just to follow a trail of links... its fun.
Today i found: Autodidacticism link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autodidacticism
I love it. Its exactly what seems to be happening in this house.

Raghu and Zoya will be helped along when they need it and will hopefully always be given rich environments to draw upon.... but ultimately its them pushing themselves thru life and its mysteries... because they want to thrive, learn and become more than they are. Its back to the best example there is: A baby wanting to walk and talk and make stuff happen just like the adults around him. No time-limits, no artificial gains, no coercion. Just be around them and interact and follow their needs... and they respond. Its amazing.

This example always lets me get out of my children's paths and let them be. So when Raghu says 60 + 60 is 1200, right amma? and i say.. actually its 120 and offer to show him why... and he says no thank you, not right now... i say okay and let it lie. A few minutes later he comes back and says oh actually its 600 plus 600, right amma? He knows a lot. Some days he wants me to show him... and some days he does not. But that does not mean he is not figuring things out constantly in his head.

Some more belated pics

2009-08-19T11:54:00.003+05:30

Raghu and Zoya had their first over-night train journey to Hyderabad recently... you can see them in the upper-bunk... and then with several cousins having a shower to beat the heat and posing with some of them.

Oh and then you have Raghu cooking up another of his witch's brews that according to him can kill Lord Voldemort. And the little costco-lion we bought years ago was given a makeover by Zoya this morning... i helped put some lipstick and some eyeshadow on. Zoya took this photo... so i could not get the little detail included.... the lion's tail has some bangles on it! I thought it was great how she managed to use most of her preferred accessories despite the lion not having any arms or typical human features.

Some pics from recent times...

2009-08-18T17:02:00.002+05:30

That last pic is the one that makes me very happy. I love having loads of kids in my house and each following some crazy path that makes the evening change from moment to moment. It gets chaotic... but its lovely to watch. This pic was when we had 9 kids in the house.... i think quite a few were captured in this pic. It was from a time when Raghu wanted to serve his friends a special meal etc.

Lots of experiences

2009-08-18T12:46:00.001+05:30

I am very overdue on writing down our recent journeys. Traveling, water issues in the city, being home-bound due to a virulent H1N1 pandemic in Pune, being a playmate non-stop to Zoya etc have been factors that have kept me from writing and posting photos. Some of what happened or is going on...

The kids have been really going for cold store bought soda (coke etc)... so i decided to see if we could make it in a way that avoids store-bought types. So we bought a few bottles of plain soda. The kids mix it up with different concentrates or home-made syrups. We've done lemony fizz, Ribena-soda, Ginger-fizz and others. Occasionally the kids still do ask for Coke/Pepsi etc. But for the most part they have been happy with the new versions. Cheaper and fun concoctions for the kids.

Raghu and Z enjoyed climbing a hill behind our house recently... its not accessible easily... and I felt nervous about taking the kids alone on a monsoon-drenched hill. So all 4 of us went. Raghu and Z were very keen on reaching the top.. but we did not feel confident about making it back down the steeper parts before dark. So we stopped half way and rested like goats on a tiny ledge. We were admiring moss and other little carpet-like plants when we suddenly saw a double rainbow!! It was an amazing sight... the kids were so thrilled. We took tons of pics... and i will put them up some day soon.

Raghu has been enjoying the internet in all its cartoon-gaming glory. Zoya misses him during these longish computer spells... she is not able to play alongside yet. But she ends up playing a lot more with me and some friends in our complex... or with our helper... whom she has taken a liking to.

Often i ask Raghu to take a break and come hang out with us... which the dear boy does often enough. Last evening during one such break we all played pictionary and had a blast. Raghu can read fairly competently when there is no time limit or tiny-screen-lettering... so he was very thrilled to be able to do his turns by himself.... although in the end Ravi and he teamed up and created chaos. No one won... we just sort of kept making wild guesses while the other drew and then laughed till our tummies hurt.

Raghu and Z have been making mobiles with me... mostly because Raghu has hurt his eye (some UFO landed in his eye and has been bothering him)... and he loves the hot-glue-gun... so we made a monster out of wood-craft peices that were supposed to become a spider and an aeroplane. It turned out beautifully grotesque :-)

Allergies and the road to unschooling...

2009-08-15T16:45:00.004+05:30

There have been many times when i've recounted the tale of how i came upon unschooling. And sometimes people who have children with allergies ask questions about how we treated Raghu's allergies. So here is an excerpt of an email to some one on this topic and a few more paras on how it connects to choosing unschooling:

I recommend finding a Naturopath near you and see if you like the Doc and the diagnosis/suggestions. My son, then 3 years old, instantly responded to MSM, Esterol, Magnesium, Quercetin, B12 and some dietary changes. His season-induced allergies magically vanished within 3 weeks... only we had to continue the doses for the entire time we were in the US. But still better than using a pump, medication etc.

So diet wise... we switched to raw milk and raw cheeses when possible (we were in NJ and had access to this). Also i started to listen to my child. Sounds simplistic. However.... Raghu had stopped eating most fruit (which he used to love) and started eating more of Methi (fenugreek leaves), Spinach, Kale, Grapes, Apple-skins, and some other things that the Naturopath immeditately said meant that his body was searching for 'Quercetin'. Sadly till i met this Doc i had forced/coerced/cajoled Raghu to eat what "I" thought his body needed. Once I began following his cues... his health, his over all diet, his ability to ask for foods he liked/wanted/craved improved dramatically.

Giving my child the freedom to choose meant he could connect with his body and really eat only what he wanted and in the amounts he wanted. His health has been amazing since.

He asks for candy/so-called-junk-foods... but he also is the kind of kid to ask for broccoli and kale on a day to day basis. He eats brown rice, chicken, no fruit, lots of greens, many cheeses including fresh mozzarella, olives, stir-fry veggies etc. I mean his diet is rich and varied and yet... he is in charge. I simply make lots of options available. So he may eat sugary, choco cereal with cold milk in the morning and a packet of chips... but then i make chips in the oven...and he loves those too... and then for lunch he asks for soup like today... with grains, pasta, veggies and sausages thrown in. All per his choice and his body. With me simply providing options, making things easily available and helping him find things he wants.

This Naturopath Doctor led me to understand how important it was for my son to stay home... allow his body to relax and adjust to the allergies... not battle emotionally etc with school and seperation from me. Raghu preferred me to hover outside the door of the little, loving montessori he was in. He wanted ony to work on the practical stuff like water, cooking etc. He hated being asked to change and go to the playground or sit for circle time. And i was pretty much spending my days outside the classroom door.

The Doc asked me if i knew about homeschooling... adn the journey began. I started to read and as seems to be the case always when you get passionate about something.... homeschoolers just happened to be all around. We started going to park-dates with our local group and loved the freedom. Many of them were eclectic or traditional homeschoolers. No unschoolers as far as i recall. However Raghu's food choices that i had struggled with and my apparent idiocy in forcing foods that his body did not need.... was the real killer. That memory pushed me further. When i first came accross Unschooling as a form of homeschooling.... i was hooked. I'd read and read and yet i could not implement it. I was still hooked on controlling TV and some food choices and would insist on fresh air everyday... like run outside and play with other children.

Anyway... soon i could see the futility of force/coercion and the beauty of living in freedom. Unschooling unfolded slowly in our lives. The past year has been a joyful recovery/journey. So allergies to radical unschooling.... that was our path.

Belonging...

2009-07-13T09:35:00.002+05:30

'Josha' wrote this recently on an online group i belong to. It rings true for me and so i wanted to share it here:

"Wanting to "belong" is when we get into trouble. The wanting is the beginning
of control and distortion and inauthenticity. This wanting comes from our
programming that we don't belong. In order for us to internalize that
concept we have to be told somewhere along the way that because of what we
say or what we do or how we be we don't belong. The truth is we already
belong. Our very presence dictates it so. We belong in this world, here we
are. We already belong and by knowing this deeply within, by feeling it
deeply our communication is authentic and real and fearless. By feeling this
deeply we love ourselves and we are free to love everyone else."

Planatarium.

2009-07-10T09:37:00.005+05:30

I decided that i needed to see the planatarium here in Bangalore. Once I figured out with Z that she was fine with Ammamma (my mom) at home... then i asked R. He was willing to try it out. I knew Z would hate the lights being turned out. She is generally anti darkness unless when she wants to sleep.

So R and i went! It was a 10 minute ride from my parents home. We went by auto-rickshaw (which R loves), bought tix, and waited in the science-activity playground there (where most things were not working well). But it was a beautiful day, cool and cloudy and when there is no direct sunlight-heat Raghu plays :-) I told Raghu about when I was 17 and saw the planatarium show. After the show i realised that nothing had changed in the 17 years since. The show has not been improved upon. But of course i did not say anything negative about the show to Raghu.

R was very excited about the show. We sat inside and were surrounded by School kids (2 busloads of them). As it was Raghu's first in a planatarium... he thought it was so cool to see the night sky... iniitally he kept oohing and aahing and exclaiming "amma... look!" Raghu is not good at whispering yet :-)

The museums in NYC and Washington D.C. would look like out-of-space-advanced-life-form-creations next to this planatarium. Its only saving grace... it gave Raghu a feel for the night sky (he already knew most of the information about the planets, meteroites etc. that was the show), and they had a decent machine that gave a print out of your weight on different planets/moons (i should move to the Moon), and their surrounding gardens gave R and me some breathing space and room to run about in.

I am grateful for the experience though. Meanwhile i am determined to find "people here who like sharing and showing stuff to kids in a friendly, peer to peer, non judgemental, happy, joyful way" So then maybe it will happen that we travel to a place outside city-bounds and see the night sky in all its glory with someone who loves showign it to people... that would be awesome. (I love lying under the open night sky... but can't say much about constellations and such or make any real conversation about it... besides we have not seen a starry sky in months... to much light pollution... need to travel far out)

So much happening as we relax

2009-07-09T10:01:00.004+05:30

I am in Bangalore with kids at my parents home since the 30th of June. A series of illnesses/discomforts have been bothering some of the family members here. My sister and her dh are both staying here these days. Kids are enjoying thier company. Except for a 2 day cold that Zoya had neither me nor kids fell ill. So these past 10 days we have been pretty much either indoors or downstairs playing in the playground, pool, or generally running around. Weather has been great... a bit rainy and cloudy but cool and breezy. A nice change from Pune heat.

I had a whole list of things i wanted to do with the children... as Bangalore has a lot more to offer than Pune. There are playgrounds and places to hang out at etc. there is even a Planataruim, A science center etc.. But we have not been able to do much. However i have observed, heard and joined several conversations between Raghu and my sister, Veena. Over the past 5 days we have watched all the Harry potter cds almost. And we've discussed Harry Potter details, what they missed shwoing in the movies, the power of certain characters, more magic-world terminology etc. So we are relaxing... but so much is still happening. (my fear... can't relax... feel "lazy" etc... old labels that i was raised with stopping my happiness of the moment). So we've watched movies, chatted, watched movies, chatted, walked, enjoyed some strolls around the neighbourhoods etc.

I'm going with the flow and reading more Louise Hays. I find it refreshing. I have seen my attitude towards food change due to her book and unschooling of course. Basically enjoying peace within on a more consistent basis allows my childrne to see that peace is a natural state. And they rarely if ever have tantrums, whineys etc. If i tip the scale and stop listening then i see the immediate repercussions... very quickly Zoya will demand attention in not so great ways.

Quick note: Raghu knows i have always given him attention when he asks/needs it... he demands it less... he simply asks for it. He is more tolerant of my being unavailable (having a bath, needing a quick walk etc). Whereas Zoya is still in that stage of 'needing' me. So i am more "there" for her and as quickly as possible too. And yet.. she is calmer because Raghu is around. She has become friendly with grandparents and is again enjoying them. For a while there... she was clinging to me and missing her dad. (ravi was unable to take time off) Over all i can see how unschooling, respecting children's needs, being a faciliator and not a dictator, working on myself first, listening and creating choices for all of us, working towards making us all happy etc... just work. The impact is enormous.

My parents and Ravi's mom are 3 very sweet grandparents. They may not understand RU and may not see the full implications... but they are supportive by trusting Ravi and me. They can see thigns that seem to prove RU for them. I am still always around to help them understand my children if need be.... but for the most part my children are able to communicate and the grandparenst do listen. I am grateful for these expereinces.

Loving life with my children. I am learning a lot about myself.

Raghu, reading and ramblings

2009-06-28T17:32:00.004+05:30

Its been a big deal for Ravi and me to see Raghu reading more and more this past week. We come upon him standing in underwear and pants around his ankles with an intent look on his face and his mouth making phonetic sounds, sometimes just plain reading and otherwise sounding out words silently... its such a delight. It might be the cover of a cd or cartridge or a comic book or like this afternoon a book on ants that he is trying to read. Its magical to watch. Just like when he learned to walk. Perhaps i feel validated a bit? I feel like saying YAHOOOO.... you see they do learn to read... because they want to. Of course we go on reading to them and do not say "well you know how to read that... so why do you want me to?" or some such short-sighted comment. I can see how reading to them whenever they want me to is the best thing to do.

I think I have been a struggling a little lately with Raghu being so focused on the PSP and hence i am the primary playmate for Zoya. I miss the game sessions and other lovely times the 3 of us enjoyed before this psp phase. I keep reminding myself that Raghu is happy pursuing his interests. So perhaps seeing him read makes me feel a bit like..."right... there are many processes at work... even as they watch the 100th re-run of Little Bear or Magic School Bus or play seemingly endless video games... they are processing so much info inside their heads" They are contacting the world around them on their own terms. I shall strew interesting things and be available to converse and be a good facilitator etc... yet the final word is theirs. And that is how their inherent interest in learning (whatever they want) is preserved.

Edit of a past-post:

2009-06-27T23:36:00.005+05:30

I am adding a preamble to a past-post based on some comments i got about it. The original post is placed below the preamble.:

"Got it" in the following paragraph refers to a serious discussion about RU. RU is not a choice in my mind like one would choose between Montessori or Waldorf or Mainstream or whatever. RU is a life philosophy in my mind. Its my vision that this encompasses learning, living, eating, interacting, bodily functions, everything. Its a way to connect with yourself and the world at large.

Each of us chooses what rings truest to our own selves and follows that voice. Each of us shall strive for happiness in our own ways. This RU path has brought the most happiness for us in our family of 4. It has changed the relationship between my husband and I. It has made my son exclaim "i love life! This is the life" etc. It allows me the time and space to make amends, learn new ways, exercise choices etc. And my children observe and take cues and figure out their own ways.

Again... never saying never... and always learning... hence this blog is about me accepting my changes, blocks, talking about what other new path/method has helped me in my journey to be the best possible mother, partner, self etc.

now the post:

Last evening I met my lovely, Reiki practicing, artist, designer, college friend, Leenata, aka Leenu. We had a lovely 6 hours by ourselves. Children were with Ravi, playing at home. The amazing part of the evening was that after a long time i found an old friend who "got it"!! Yahoo. I mean she got RU totally. It was grand to see how easily she understood our way of being. She does not have children, yet. Yet the principles behind RU made sense and could be easily discussed. I guess I've only really had new friends besides my sister who really got it. So for an old one to understand it meant we could chat easily about old times and new and see how we had grown. It was a sweet, fragrant, compassionate exchange of news.

My new helper after Roopa.... Maushi, is sick. I am holding her in a circle of healing power inside of me. I wish her well and hope that she will heal herself. So anyway Maushi is not here and has been in and out thinking she can work but scared she'll loose the job here. Anyway... my day has been tiring to say the least... mostly the house is in a beautiful state of shambles and mingles and messes and scatterings. Only this afternoon was i able to finish hand-washing all our 3-days worth of dishes. So my nails feel crummy. I'm now going to clean the floors... leave it un-swept for a day and you can feel dust under your feet. And R, R and i start to sneeze :-O So off i go to clean while Raghu watches Tom and Jerry re-runs. Zoya has gone downstairs with Ravi's sister and her daughter, Kaveri. They just arrived for some playtime. So I got to get some cleaning done before they come back up.

Relaxing

2009-06-19T13:46:00.004+05:30

With Maushi not here for now almost 4 days and having friends coming over tonight for dinner... i thought i'd probably start to backtrack into old habits... upset easily at kids, controlling their every move so the house stays neat etc. Last evening it took me 2 hours to sweep and swab on hands and knees the entire house. It was a lovely physical experience but made me realise that Maushi was not a good cleaner. Anyway... so this morning i was remembering my old habits/tendencies to slip into control mode when i wanted the house clean. But i did not. I got the smallish cleaning up done before Z awoke. Raghu and i got lovely reading time and got to explore the food alphabets and others via Sandra's thinking stick blog. Fun time. Then breakfast and then we got the stroller and left to shop.

The thought was that if we spent time outdoors (esp since it was a cloudy day and not too hot) then the house would be relatively easy to clean up.

Normally R would balk at walking to stores. We live about 15 minutes from the stores we need. But with the cloudy weather and a light breeze he seemed fine. Still inorder to give him an easier time i drove them to one end of our shopping area. Then unpacked the stroller. Kids took turns to sit in it. We zipped around the neighbourhood and walked along relatively quiet roads and bought things for tonight. We had a lovely little scoop each of gelato and chose bread together. Fantastic little outing.

And we just got back. So the morning was tiring but fun. And now we can relax in the afternoon. Once Z falls asleep... i predict she'll last another hour. I can sweep adn swab again and get ready for the dinner.

Also... at the bookstore where we picked up a gift for the child coming tonight... Raghu read Ben10 books and Zoya played in their outside verandah. :-)

I'm so happy that i could focus on the children and my own needs and not get overwhelmed and crabby. And now even if the house is not perfect.... i know we had a happy day... and that happy energy will make the house feel very loving and welcoming to our friends.... i think :-)

"Peace and Hair and Money"

2009-06-11T20:37:00.005+05:30

Why am i doing life this way? Why is unblocking within so important? Why is it a good idea to keep choices alive? All lead to more peace within for me and my children. An excerpt from Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love" says it well:

"I also keep remembering a simple idea my friend Darcey told me once---that all the sorrow and trouble of this world is caused by unhappy people. Not only in the big global Hitler-n-Stalin picture, but also on the smallest personal level. Even in my own life, I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people."

I loved reading about Elizabeth Gilbert's journey. Truly this way of living (our unschooling choice) is guaranteed to make you want to tear your hair out, then you grow some hair back and start to feel better, then you tear some more out but now the hair seems to be growing back fast and you are tearing out less. Its fun :-) And its only the adult's hair going... the kids hair is growing luxuriantly almost non-stop.

Speaking of hair... Raghu finally succumbed to the "you look like a girl" message he was getting from society at large here in India. I was party to one aspect of the hair episode... both Ravi and I found it hard to talk to him with his hair sitting right on top of his eyes. With Raghu's involvement... we tried gel, oil-water, hair clips, hairbands etc... but his super-silky hair refused to stay off his eyes as he grew it. So we were stuck waiting for the front chunk to grow long enough to tuck behind his ears. And i think this too bothered him. Sadly as he was debating whether to trim the front locks or get used to a sports hairband... he suddenly decided to go super short. He wanted me to lop off all of his shoulder length hair. Raghu did deal with the "you look like a girl" comments well... he would say "i'm not a girl" and then move off. But ultimately while getting his hair lopped he kept saying "make it look like a boy, amma" I'm sad... i loved his long hair. Anyway... someday Ravi plans to grow out his hair.. so perhaps Raghu will get inspired again. Oh and Zoya watched his hair being cut and decided she wanted a "boy-cut". So all her lovely curls gone for now. Sweet for her to be emulating her big brother... but 'sigh'.

I have noticed that only when i go to stores do Raghu and sometimes Zoya want things... otherwise they don't. We miss out on simple free pleasures here (like public spaces that are pleasing to the eye, green-blue natural environs, playgrounds that are not rusting adn creaking and have bird-poop on them)... so sometimes malls and stores are a grand place to hang out in. Sad :-( anyway... so back to acquisitions and money.... when we are not in stores and are enjoying activities, home-time etc... they don't ask for toys. Mostly the desires for toys and such come about when they see them in the stores. Its rare for them to be sitting at home and saying "i need this..." So having understood and observed this, i'm able to expect their needs better. I'm not surprised or annoyed or expecting chaos when we are in a mall.. cause i expect that they will express a need for something... and i budget some money towards it. But mostly i try and keep a list at home of their interests/topics they have raised etc and go shopping alone... and find things that relate to their interests. And if they have indeed mentioned some things they want... then i try and find them.

Mostly... the point i was trying to make in the unwieldy para above is that unless they really want to come shopping with me... i leave them happy at home about a couple of times a month (with dh) and go do the shopping alone. Helps keep the sudden impulses for expensive toys and such to a minimum.

But i must insert here that there have been tough and interesting and sometimes very cool choices made when the kids shop with me. For e.g. they make me more aware of their true needs.... Nutella (expensive here but something Z and R really love) is more important than hairclips (cheap here but a need that they can do without... only i care for them) and then those unnecessary kitchen napkins (the ones that i'd offer a guest instead of my cut up old-cloth segments at home). So the cost of Nutella is = to the cost of some clips + kitchen napkins + perhaps a pair of jeans for the kids that they don't care for... only I do. So i'm kept on my toes and re-assessing shopping choices. Its good :-)

Living life in this attachment-parenting, respectful, unschooling way means that life is forever interesting and creates peace. Every time i get a block i know that there is something to be learned, something to be looked at, observed etc. And my children will see that as a good thing. The experiences, every one of them, are worthy of conversation and acceptance and observation.

Why is night spelt with a gh?

2009-06-01T09:43:00.004+05:30

After reading the post on raghu asking about the funny english spelling (a few posts down).... Sandra Dodd wrote:

"The reason "night" is spelled that way is that letters used to be pronounced--with a sound we don't have anymore, so I don't know how to describe that at all, but those words with the gh in the middle like night, fight, fright, plight must have sounded similar 800 years ago, and that sound stayed.
"Knight" was pronounced "keNicht" kind of, and castle was castell. Sword had a w sound in it. So when they started spelling those, they were spelling them the way they sounded. "

Now makes sense to me :-) And to raghu too. he has been identifying words that are spelt "wrong" and then he proceeds to pronounce them the way he thinks they must have centuries ago. Its fun.

Sandra also shared this page
http://sandradodd.com/etymology that talks about this more. For those of us who love "Chupke chupke" and the famous "pa-nee-monia aur pa-thai-sis" dialogue... this is a fun road to travel.

2009-05-31T16:28:00.002+05:30

In my Dharwad trip post i forgot to mention how Z ended up enjoying the scooters and motorbikes. Initially she would only sit on one if the bike was stationary. Thats her in the initial stages. by the end of that one day she was riding behind Ravi on a motorbike and refusing to get off. She takes her time with new things... warming up slowly. Everytime i hear someone forcing a child to swim, bicycle, try something new... i cringe... its an inbuilt safety mechanism in the child that will stand them in good stead... that we mess with. eventually they all learn to swim and bike and read etc.

Raghu and Zoya were having a long bath when all of a sudden i heard raghu yell and scream in his "i'm the most ferocious alien etc.." So i ran to see whether Zoya was safe ;-) I saw raghu slathered in shaving foam... except for the armpits...which he and Z forgot.... front and back white as snow... and R yelling "I'm GOOP" Please pull out your Blueberries and google "ben 10 goop". Live and learn. I was given a tutorial on the character that is Goop - a good guy.

2009-05-29T14:45:00.005+05:30

My trip to Madras was a month ago. I've only just got my video on comp to work again... some thing about my inability to process info :-)

Anyway, Ashwini and I have been friends since we first met thru a mutual friend Shobhana in our first year of college in 1990. We ended up being roommates for 3 of our 5 years of art school in Mumbai. And since then our life choices have kept us geographically close. We've caught up with each other's lives again and again after many partings and lapses. Always i am left with a sense of gratitude that we have each other. Always inspiring, affectionate, helpful and never dull... that's us ;-)

Currently Ashwini's 9 year old son is with his father and grandparents in Pune. And Ashwini is taking a years sabbatical in Madras... pursuing her long-standing-love "Dance." During my 3 day trip I was fortunate to meet her teacher P.T. Narendran and even watch a class in progress. Amazingly Narendran was able to include Ashwini in his soon-to-be-televised interview at Kalakshetra... http://www.chennai-madras.com/travelinformation/kalakshetra.htm Started by Rukmini Devi. The banyan tree spot where Ashwini got to dance was filled with a very beautiful energy... something we feel strongly at JJ in Mumbai too. its the years of artists walking thru and their creative force i think. Anyways a highpoint of the trip for me and a big moment for Ashwini.

We visited parts of Chennai and Auroville and had a grand time. We had some deep conversations and lots of laughter. Energizing to be with her as usual. Some videos aren't loading right away. so more in another post.

This past month

2009-05-27T11:21:00.015+05:30

Our comps are not cooperating these days and need our attention... so not too many photos yet. But here are some of the highlights of this past month:

We had a lovely long day at Essel World. Its like 6 flags in the US. Not quite as intense... but still good enough for Raghu's age. 6 flags had more intense rides... lots of loops and other stomach churning rides. This place had only a couple of stomach churners. Rest were twirly, up and down, car-banging type stuff. Clean and well maintained. We did not get any stomach issues from their street-food-vendors. Bathrooms were alright and did not gross out the kids. Thats a sign of progress here in India. These basic amenities get clobbered by sheer human numbers. So these things made for a better trip.

We were 10 adults and 5 children. Ravi had to take a day off so we could beat the crowds and do it on a w'day. We hired a mini-bus and set out for the outer regions of Mumbai. We opened the place and quite literally shut it that night. The kids had a blast. THey repeated rides non stop and tried almost everything. Bumper cars and roller coasters were the popular ones. The kids survived on icecream and cold drinks all day long. We ate lots of local spiced things. Yum.

The day after this we had the homeschool fair here in Pune. This group of homeschoolers includes eclectic, traditional, unschooling etc. The idea had started because of Raghu wanting to sell lemonade. So finally it happened. Raghu sold home-made lemonade for Rs.10 per glass. He made about 450Rs. He was thrilled. His 2 girl cousins sold playdough and greeting cards. I did free caricatures of everyone willing to be subjected to a few laughs :-)

Some of the other stalls were selling Solar cookers, jewellery, nail painting, darts, pasta, etc.. We enjoyed purchasing things from the other children. Raghu was upbeat and stayed in selling mode for almost an entire hour. Ravi's aunts and uncle helped with washing up the re-usable glasses we'd taken along. The entire fair was conducted without any plastic throw-aways. Felt good to eat pasta in the leaf-bowls... dry leaves stitched together with tiny stems... eco-friendly and useful for semi-dry food. They compost easy.

After the fair we had a relatively quiet week with some cousins exiting and one staying for a longer stay (Kaveri is Ravi's sister, Meghna's daughter.. they are both staying till mid-June). We picked up books at British Council Library. Where Raghu also found Magic School Bus cds!

Veena and Nikhil (my sister and her husband) came to be with R and Z for 3 days. Not once did they call with a "come home now" wail. So Ravi and i got upto 6 continuous hours each day outside the house, loaded with laptop and internet-plug-ins. We spent time at air-conditioned cafes and a restaurant in a fancy hotel. So we had access to coffee and food (basics of any conference :-) and clean bathrooms. We lounged, chatted, searched Sandra's site for potential hot-topics, boosted each other's egos and juggled ideas. It was fabulous being able to focus on Sandra's site and really plow thru all the links with no interruptions. I think only once there was a call from Raghu about getting rock salt in his eyes while making a witch's brew. Other than that no calls! Thanks to Nikhil and Veena for giving the kids a lovely time and us some much needed time alone to chat unschooling. More on this conference and what it pulled up in a separate post.

We left for Dharwad on last Friday and had a lovely journey except for the last couple of hours (its a 6 hour drive).. when i started to feel real sick. I ended up bed-bound for a day with a bad viral. The doc gave me 2 shots... which the kids loved watching me get. They have not been vaccinated in full... and don't remember getting any shots. So it was quite a scientific moment... and not fraught with fear.

A day later i was better and we went to Kali River Rapids... water was low enough to walk thru... as it is still pre-monsoon. It was a fabulous experience. The kids, Veena (my sis joined us there for 2 days), Ravi and my mom waded thru the water and collected lots of beautiful rocks/stones. Mini waterfalls and small outcroppings.... we got to feel like we were sitting on the surface of a flowing river. Dharwad was green, cool and refreshed us. Raghu declared it a beautiful place and one that he'd like to move to! He loved Amma and Appaji's apartment. My parents built a 3 story building for their business. The top floor is a large, simply fitted apartment with a terrace. Amma brought some of their old furniture there to make it more comfortable. The kids loved the house and were effusive in their compliments. It was nice to see them enjoy Dharwad and the house.

Over the course of the 3-4 day trip (extended by a day because Raghu insisted) the kids observed us doing namaskaras (occasionally), eating off banana leafs, eating foods that normally they may not have eaten, interacting with relatives, riding on a motorcycle, etc. Food time was a traditional sit down, banana leaf, served by men in lungis, ritualistic sort. Raghu decided to taste things and ended up liking some of the foods. We were happy for him. Normally if there is nothing on the menu that satisfies them... plain rice and yogurt is a staple for both R and Z. The kids found their fun and went up and down the stairs, played DS, played with some cousins, and generally had a nice time.

I did not carry any preconceived notions about what the kids will or will not like/do... given the traditional atmosphere all around... and just let them be. We followed them when possible or found ways for them to enjoy things on their terms... which meant that at someone's house the entire meal was ignored by the children and WE graciously over-ate on their account and did not apologize for the kids :-)

More about the ceremony soon.

A lovely walk with Raghu and a solution too.

2009-05-22T13:43:00.002+05:30

As i may have posted earlier, i've struggled with giving enough one-on-one time to Raghu. So this morning having gotten up at 4am... i decided to see if Raghu would wake up for an early morning walk. He is always agreeable in the morning... no matter how early.

So i woke him up at 6:30. He woke up smiling and happy to have risen almost with the sun. i explained my little one-on-one idea... before Z wakes up... she wakes at 9ish every morning. And Ravi was home.

Raghu was ready with his shoes and DS nintendo right away. We had a lovely walk. we ended it at Ravi's aunt's house. We had milk and tea there. We agreed that we should do this more often. I get to catch a 15 minute nap in the afternoons easily with Zoya while Raghu pursues his interests.

Good Mornings to you!

2009-05-22T05:47:00.004+05:30

I've been up since 4 am because of my cough. Its a good thing. I've been thinking about my blocks... my blocks are the areas that i still make bad choices in.

For e.g. Raghu did not want dinner last evening. But i forced him (not physically but verbally) to sit and taste the rasam I'd made the way he likes it and had asked for only a day before. Why did i do that? Normally its not an issue. "I was watching my niece and daughter eating dinner. I was tired and grouchy because of my bad throat and cough. I knew he'd be hungry later and did not want to deal with it. I bet that if i told him that he'd say "no problem Amma... I'll get some milk and cereal myself"... Dammit he is so considerate. Just honoring the child's need in that moment meant i would have to accept him eating cold cereal for dinner... something that goes against the Indian-hot-meal-is best-mindset." Back to the dinner... once he tasted the rasam he enjoyed it and asked for brown rice and yogurt. But he ate very little and was done soon.

I made a bad choice. I could have laid out some food for him in the fridge... but the fridge was crowded and I'd have to clean it out to make space... and that weighed on me too. Still a bad choice forcing him. If i had honored his need for no dinner... he'd have eaten cereal probably or helped himself to some cold rice. Why is that bad? A block to be slowly ripped and replaced with conversation, choices other than the one choice that seems to overtake my mind.

Sometimes as a mom of young kids who is learning late in life about "choices" i find myself knocking myself on the blocks despite knowing and having better tools. Its better to listen and accept food choices... the easier one to navigate than say wanting to buy a 2000 Rs. toy.

Back to why its good mornings... every morning is good here. We wake when we feel rested and we eat as we will each morning. Its a good feeling. And today i shall get a whole new day to really hear my children's voices... voices that come from knowing their bodies as best they can at this early stage of unschooling.

I'm unblocking, reminding myself that there are multiple choices in every scenario, hating my postmortems, wanting to do it right each time, reminding myself that its the feeling-blocked-moments that need my fullest attention and wishing myself a very good morning.

Pre-Monsoon Showers at last!

2009-05-21T16:30:00.002+05:30

Its raining... a proper shower happening outside. Beautiful, energizing and very dark. 4pm feels likes 6pm.

The 3 months of monsoon showers are Pune's primary source of rain-water. So the scrubby land will take on a green sheen starting now and stay that hue till about November. Then it returns to its scrubby, dusty self.

Everything will get clean and sparkly... except for the ground. Mud baths and sludge all over. Boots, rain gear and fungus on our cupboards. Fun :-)

2009-05-21T15:36:00.003+05:30

Its beginning to rain a little each day... even just a small drizzle... but enough to feel monsoony in one's heart. Its a delicious feeling. The smell of wet earth and the knowledge that the surrounding hills will be green soon makes me so happy.

Raghu has been explaining rain-shadows and other interesting weather related things. He asked me to walk without bending my knees. Impossible unless i allowed my hip bones to lift. He is so alive and full of information these days. He may spend upto 6 hours a day in his DS nintendo. Something that i'm getting used to. Its like getting used to a new family member almost... he is busy and involved in things that can't involve his little sister any more. She is not even able to use a mouse very well or perhaps just has no interest... or perhaps we've not found the right software for her yet. All in all.. she has been fending for her self and finding her own fun.

She took her Barbie doll and a scissor and looked set to do some serious hairstyling. I asked her to cut in the balcony... not in the house. So she went out and wet the doll's hair and cut it. She had fun. I was slurping soup and watching her. Earlier today Z allowed me to cut a fringe for her... she wants to grow most of her hair so she can put it up in a pony soon like me.

Raghu and Zoya are having a lot of fun-filled moments with their cousin. My s-i-l, Meghna and her daughter will be with us on and off these next few weeks. Its lovely to watch Z and Kaveri in the bathroom. They had shaving cream and baby powder all over the bathroom adn themselves today. Its a routine... every few days they get into a long session in the bathroom and then shower together.

I'm feeling much better today and am beginning to look forward to our road trip. We head to Dharwad tomorrow.

Raghu has been asking a lot of questions about words in the english language. He said the word Night is spelt wrong. I have to look up why the english language is this way. Pneumonia and Psychiatry. I mean there are millions of exceptions. Its hard to read this language. Sanskrit-devanagiri based languages are so clear. Hindi is read as it is written. Rare exceptions. However Raghu is into the english language and very keen to read. I mean not overtly. But he has been reading steadily these past few weeks and i'm surprised at his new skill.

Clarifications and DVDs

2009-05-21T09:46:00.004+05:30

Clarification about the post about the Dharwad trip and DVD player: I meant a Car-DVD player. We have a DVD player at home.

DVDs: Just wanted to post here our favorite videos these past few months:
Starwars
Transformers
The Clone Wars
Dunstan Checks In
The Magic School Bus series
Motorcycle Diaries (Raghu sat thru this and asked me to read the subtitles)
Angelina Ballerina
Little Bear Series
Batman.. cartoon
Asterix and Obelix... cartoon
BEN 10... should have been posted as number 1 :-)
Snoopy come home
Richard Scarry Busy Town
Night at the Museum
Tom and Jerry.. old and new
BBC series on Gerald Durrel's My family and other animals
Dora the explorer

I'm sure there are more... but these are the ones we've seen off and on over the past couple of months.

For those who want to learn about RU

2009-05-20T07:32:00.005+05:30

Ravi has very little time slotted per day for himself. Usually any spare hours go towards the kids and me and some finance things. Leaves him little time for any research or reading.

So since our little conference (i shall post about that soon) he has taken to reading one essay per day on Sandra's site.

At -- http://sandradodd.com/random -- Sandra has created a randomizer for this kind of reading. Anyone who is interested please take a look. You don't have to think about navigating the site and finding topics. Just read whenever and whatever you can.

We can all be happy.

2009-05-20T06:49:00.005+05:30

We are going on a 6 hour road trip this Friday. Meeting up with family in Dharwad for a nephew's ceremony. And then we return on Monday.

I have been a bit under the weather since last afternoon. So while Raghu and I were settling into a nap.. he asked who would be coming to this family meet and how long the trip would take and other related questions. Then he asked me if the Car/jeep we are hiring has a DVD player. (we don't have one .. portable or otherwise. But Raghu had experienced a Family van with inbuilt DVD player a while back.... again a longish road trip... the DVD player was used non stop by Raghu. It bothered some of us. We were a large group.)

Back to his question.... I barely did any deep breathing or checking of my emotions... i simply blurted out "Raghu if you want to keep watching videos while we travel thru lovely fields.. the trip is on a good road known for a beautiful ride.... then you may as well stay back with your grandma." He looked surprised at my outburst and said "no, no i'll come."

At that moment i could think of nothing else to say except "we really want a road trip to enjoy the sights and be exchange stories and sing along with our CD player etc. So we did not consider hiring a car with a DVD player." Then my head throbbed too much to talk. and we fell asleep.

A few hours later i had a quiet walk (baby sitter at home) and called sister for advice about this... she is my baby-sister all grown up now... and she is the one who gets RU the best. She and i discussed my choice. But i did not feel good inside. I felt rotten.

I called Urmila (the only other RU mom in Pune). Based on what we exchanged.... i felt a lovely shift happening inside:

Raghu's choices are as best as they can be for him... as are mine for me. I love watching the rolling fields and talking to Ravi and kids and exchanging stories/singing along with cds etc. I love stopping and tasting some local food item (food and language changes every 50 km in india i think :-) Or taking a small detour and stretching our legs and clicking a few photos. Raghu, per his current interests, would love to carry his DS Nintendo and enjoy our company alongside his playing. He does not mind not having a DVD player since he has his DS. He may want different things from this trip than i do. If he does nto choose to enjoy the scenery the way i do... i need to stay smiling.. happy for his choices. And i can continue to enjoy my choices... i can stop the car and stretch and take in the view. And i shall smile at my child's and husband's choices. We all make different choices and they must be honored as far as possible.

I immediately felt a weight lift and i felt light and airy. We can all be happy and supportive of each other. I can't even begin to write the ramifications of coercive living... but i can begin to write about the beauty of RU living. No one is martyred.

Zoya has been feeling sad whenever Raghu is on the DS for too many hours of the day and he refuses to join our games. But i make up for his absence as best i can. Last evening she told me that she wanted to get her own DS. I said yes... that was a great idea. She smiled and kissed me and said... "me happy, you happy?" Then she thought a bit and said "I will play with Raghu". :-)

Sure... i'm not fond of screen time for myself... but if it is a passion for my child or children... i shall make shifts within and accept their choices... as they accept mine. Raghu i'm sure would never stop me from taking a break for photos while we are on the road. He is so reasonable about our choices. Why can't we joyously accept his?

So looking forward to this trip and to making it joyous for all of us with our different/overlapped/similar needs.